Miserable at night again

I am having an emotional breakdown at night in bed.
Yesterday I went for a walk and my neighbourhood is one of the best around. The houses are more like mansions honestly and the pricing start at 1M. I live just the beginning of the project in an apartment and I do love my apartment.

I just told my bf that you know if I was healthy, my life would be so different. I would have kids, have a job, buy a house and have several kids, adopt a dog. I mean that was my dream when I moved here.

Things are still a lot better than others and I am doing well. But it is funny how you plan something and then things change without your choice.

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I hope you feel better soon. I can relate with those thoughts. I’d like to have a family of my own someday but I think I never will. I wouldn’t want to have a schizophrenic child. It wouldn’t be fair to bring someone into the world only to suffer.

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The way I cope with thoughts like that is to think how much worse things could be and then try to be grateful for what I have.

I think it’s human nature to always want more than we have though.


yeah but how do you know your child will be schizophrenic? I wanted to have 2-3 kids initially when I moved here.
My partner is ‘normal’ as far as I can tell :slight_smile: meh I am just not seeing a good future on these meds other than filling my life with some simple things like shopping etc.

I started antipsychotics at 22 years old now 28 my life has improved in certain ways but not as it should like normal people. My partner told me at least I do not have any physical illness, there are much worse things like being on an organ waiting list.

Yeah you’re right about there being worse things. I don’t know if they’d have schizophrenia but I wouldn’t want to risk it. For the most part I’ve been feeling good with my life. It isn’t what I expected but it could be worse. I’ve been focusing on improving. So far I have according to family members. Now I just need to get a job to have something productive to do.

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Hi @mermaid1 .
The human nature is to always ask for more.
But I think we should also be grateful for what we have.
You say yourself that there are positives things in your life, you can be grateful for them.
Be grateful for them. You write that your life has improved, happy for that :smile:
try to improve it further.
Be grateful for what you have and try to improve.

I don’t see a reason why you shouldn’t have kids, if you still want them, unless you and your partner have fertility
problems in which case you can either go to fertility treatments
or adopt. My parents have just me, they would probably have 2-3 kids if they had no fertility
problems, they went to treatments but it didn’t work out.

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I have trouble getting to sleep alot of nights.

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