Can't keep living like this but no options

Yeah I feel awful. Can’t be a mom like I was, or the same person.
I’ve lost so much in my old life but have my hubby and kids and I am ashamed I have to fake my interactions every day with them now. Every interaction is hard and pace and activity level is really hard, I have trouble when alone to do things, then in evenings it hard bc my family functions lIke all fam lies do. Anyone else feel guilty ( or exhauated) for not being able to keep up.

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I don’t have kids but I’m thinking if I did it would be too hard for me to handle at the moment.

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I’m tired of work, between the mental illness and physical stuff, I’m at the breaking point

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i m also tired.since 7 years i m not the person i should be.i was already suicidal person before medicines and medicines made me more suicidal but i have to keep it up.i should find different life goals than before

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@Mountainman @Green @invega
Thanks for taking the time to reply. I needed to connect with someone somehow on this. I’m seeing someone at the hospital now weekly.

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You describe my feelings to a t. I don’t have children but my interactions with my immediate family feel forced and fake. I have little energy or drive anymore to interact with anyone and everyday just seems harder

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Yeah even talking to my mom or friends. I don’t know why it’s happening. Possibly BP 1 w psychosis and schizotypal. I think my pdoc is looking at everything.
This is very hard.

Right now I’m diagnosed with schizophrenia paranoid type, reoccuring major depression and anxiety. But I’m sure a different pdoc would diagnos me differently, I try to focus on my symptoms, I know it takes a long time to get a good diagnosis

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Yeah I have to focus on symptoms too. Nothing I can do. Sometimes feels like I could understand better if I knew. But this is happening no matter what it’s called.

I’m going to try sarcosine and l-theanine when I get paid next and see if that helps with some of the "negative symptoms " I’ve been experiencing

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Are those supplements? @SchizoBoy

Yeah, I’ve just discovered them on the forum, had never heard of them before otherwise lol but people seem to have mixed reviews on them, thought I’d give them a try, I’m desperate to feel a little more “normal” again.

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Yep I try everything. I’ll be looking into that. Thanks. @SchizoBoy