Last night, my mom and I had a full on screaming match. Less than two months ago, I was forced to perform oral sex by my ex, and then continuously sexually assault throughout our entire relationship. I stayed with him because I loved him. I thought it was my fault for such a long time. Then my mom started accusing me of being a whore, saying I wanted it and was just playing the victim. She called me a pathetic ■■■■■■■ liar, a lesbian whore, claiming i slept around with girls my age (I haven’t), a victim, that I ruined my life because I was never happy, and a loser with no friends, she told me no one could stand me because I was such a weirdo. She blamed my lack of friends on being “too lazy” when I have terrible social anxiety and just prefer to be alone. She literally screamed at me for over an hour calling me a liar and a whore, and telling me to get over it. It was so hard for me to finally start telling people how I was feeling, to come forward about what happened to me. The day of the sexual assault was the worst day of my life. I was so scared, I was literally frozen, I couldn’t move. Everything’s a blur. But I know I’m not a liar, I would never lie about anything like that, not in a million years. If I’m being over dramatic, just tell me. I’m working on closing myself off again, friends and family clearly don’t care about what I have to say. Sorry this is so long, I was just really upset.
I was attacked after work one night. Towards the end of the attack which lasted a few hours 4 witnesses came by and saw what was happening. They called the police. When the police brought me home my mom said I should have just given him what he wanted and said it was all my fault for speaking his language. If I never spoke his language she said it wouldn’t have happened. I haven’t spoken Spanish since.? It really sucks when your mom turns against you. She’s kind to me now, all these years later. But it was hard to deal with when it happened. Maybe you can join a sexual assault survivors group.
Your mom is too critical of you
That’s terrible! Of course people here believe what you say. You don’t have any reason for lying on such sensitive things like sexual assault. For me it’s even worst when your mum is horrible with you and doesn’t help you overcome your traumas.
This forum is great to talk about our problems and getting some support, but you need professional help. Since your mom isn’t helping maybe is better to seek help at school. If not, see if somebody in your family could pay those hours with a therapists. If you don’t have nobody, send some mails to some therapists asking if they could help you in your situation.
Good luck and don’t give up 
I’m so sorry that happened to you. I can’t imagine how hard that must’ve been. What your mom said to you was so wrong. It’s absolutely not your fault
Thanks @NailsOnAChalkboard
Don’t close yourself off,
It’s the worst thing you can do.
I’m very sorry to hear that. Have you spoken to anyone else about it? Maybe a support group or therapist. I know it’s hard to do.
I don’t think you’re being over dramatic at all.
Just know you have friends here,
And we all care lots and want to see you do well.
Hugssss
Thank you so much, I’ll try not to close myself off. I talk to a therapist, but I haven’t gone into everything that’s happened yet. Everyone on here’s just so nice, I’m so touched that I’m actually crying 
If you feel yourself getting isolated,
Just post or pm me, I’ll always listen. If you need to vent.
I don’t know you but I really do truly care.
Your mom sounds very unempathetic,
My advice would be not to yell back,
Just let her words fall to the floor and walk away.
It’s hard to do but it might just make her think about the things she is saying.
Plus you have the higher moral ground if you don’t engage in shouting.
Control your emotions and let them out somewhere safe, here, or in your room, write them down, figure it all out. I’m here if ya need me!
Thank you so much, you don’t know how much that means to me
It’s not a problem,
I really do mean it xx
I can relate in so many ways and I just want you to be okay,
And know that someone cares.
It’s breaking my heart, what you’re going through. It WILL get better.
I’m very sorry to hear that happened to you Pianogal. It angers me that some “men” do that type of ■■■■. It isn’t your fault.
I hope you feel better NailsOnAChalkboard. I think your mom was being harsh. Sorry to hear you were forced to do something you didn’t want to do. Does your mom also suffer from mental illness?
Yeah, but she’s never been officially diagnosed. My dad and I think she may be bipolar, she takes meds for depression
Ah that explains the outburst. Don’t let it bring you down so much. Don’t beat yourself up about what she said. I’d imagine it was in a moment of anger. I hope you feel better soon.
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