I talked to my pdoc about this almost eigth months ago, asked him if the medication could be causing memory impairment because I’ve been feeling it since I started taking it, and he frowned his face and said “no, the medication doesn’t cause that”, now, I really think it’s because of the medication, since along with the significative lack of momments reminiscing about past times, compared with the time when I wasn’t medicated, there’s also less reminiscing about others “true” intentions and things of that sort.
Any of you has thoughts, or even science, on this?
I assume prior to medication you were psychotic? So your brain was in overdrive, leading to thinking more about stuff extra fast. With each psychotic break the brain loses a bit of cognitive abilities, including memory, so it’s natural for you to stop remembering certain things after your brain has cooled down.
I have the same issue, I have total blanks about my life.
I noticed some memory loss as well. Particularly what is called “episodic memory”. Our ability to remember stuff is typically divided into two kinds, here’s a wiki that explains it:
In short, the difference is that episodic memory is the ability to relive past experiences as it were, while semantic memory is the ability to recall facts (without necessarily recalling the situation you’ve learned them in). These terms may help you search for articles on it. Also, episodic memory is related to or even coincides with the ability that is sometimes called ‘(mental) time travel’ in relevant research.
These results support the notion that memory disruption in schizophrenia might originate from hippocampal dysfunction and that medication restores some aspects of fronto-temporal dysconnectivity. Patterns of fronto-temporal connectivity could provide valuable biomarkers to identify new treatments for the symptoms of schizophrenia, including memory deficits
It’s not as if prior to medication I was 24/7 psychotic, but there was definetively more going on inside my head, and that is what I kind of miss… Well it leaves me space to be more open around people, not analysing so much, so I guess I’m more present.
Yeah the blanks… then someone comes along and says “do you remember when you did this and this?” and you’re like “wow, I was really a jackass”, at least that’s kind of how it goes for me!
But seriously, I’m not too sure about it. During my psychosis, I was too busy with keeping myself together that I did not notice this. It only subsided with the help of medication. I did went off medication for slightly over half a year, and I don’t think memory improved at the time. There’s good reason to trust the research though. The papers in the previous post all suggest that memory loss is a very well established feature of schizophrenia, not so much of meds. The last link specifically studied the impact of medication versus non-medicated patients and suggests meds even help to improve memory.
If it’s any consolation, my memory is getting better.
I forgot a lot of stuff and sometimes it just comes out of the blue, and remembering the little things (where did I put my keys, that sort of stuff) is much better now. I’ve been psychosis free for a few weeks maybe a month or two (well, I don’t remember well ) and some things came back.
I also have PTSD so most of the memories that come back are from traumatic stuff
But also some good things prior to the full break.
I have been a life long sufferer of sz so after 45+years I have very little memory. My family says I lived a completely different childhood/life because I have over the years made up memories to fill in gaps - stuff they say never happened. But with my sz over the years they became real to me.
That for me is the worse than no memory-to truly believe this happened and everyone around says you’re full of ■■■■ - it never happened.
As for day to day there is good and bad days - and with all the meds I have been on I have a verbal issue where I mispronounce words or say a completely different word than what I wanted to say. Most days it is just little stuff I don’t remember and have become ocdish about stuff like turning light off or closing fridge - recheck recheck cause I can’t remember.
Hey! When I’m psychotic I also fill in some gaps with what I later realize are just delusions about my personal history, but checking with others also helps to realize that. Or I distort what really happened, interpreting the memories upside down and having Ahah! moments that are usually just really messed up negative stuff, but that leave me feeling like I had some revelation.
Hope that despite all that you have more good days than bad ones!
) and some things came back.
