Turns out I definitely experience psychosis, but it’s more than likely psychotic depression and not Sz, just to update all of you on my progress with the pdoc.
But tonight, I had something peculiar happen: I had this high episode with EXTREME narcissism. I was extremely energetic and posting a million posts a minute (exaggeration) on tumblr, trying to get people to follow my blog. All I can call it is an episode.
Then I crashed, and immediately felt suicidal and dark thoughts invaded my head.
My pdoc mentioned atypical bipolar, could this be it? Or something else? I’m just curious about the narcissism piece.
Ive had that happen too but its normally due to a sudden change in a situation or a new situation developing. Moods r tricky and can change with the flick of a finger. Im just happy i might be able to get real sleep tonight
But for me, if I have a true, full blown manic episode then I get very little sleep at all for several nights and feel like moving non-stop. I feel extremely agitated.Eventually after being sleep deprived long enough, I start having severe delusions and auditory hallucinations.
Sometimes I feel similar to what you described, but I wouldn’t consider that a full blown manic episode. More like a “hypomanic” episode.
I wouldnt be so concerned with trying to label it. Learning your triggers and finding out what sends you spiraling into excessive mood swings would be more helpful. But sounds like rapid cycling moods to me. My manic episodes can last months if left unchecked then i spiral into a pit of dispair equally as low as the high. But in those episodes i do have small peaks and valleys much like what you are describing. Narcissm maybe bordering on delusions of grander/reference where you are the best and everything revolves around you. I get those as well.
I’ve had this too and I couldn’t describe it.
It was like a 30-minute period of intense energy and shakiness. Made lots of messy artwork during this period and kept repeating words. But I do have bipolar disorder and this didn’t look like a manic episode to me because they usually last longer. It could be rapid cycling! There is such thing. Anyway, I recommend you talk to your pdoc about this to prevent any future mishaps. Best of luck to you
