For everyone who’s similar to me and feels they lost out in life because of schizophrenia I just want to say I hope you are able to find peace in the things that didn’t happen. That perhaps this was the way things were “meant/destined to be” and that you can still have a full life
Good point.
I’ve long noticed a trend here. Some users dwell too much on the “rosy” past…
I too have had a good life before sz. Not exceptional but decent.
I no longer invite regrets for what was / could’ve been. I stay focused on the here and now.
Living a convoluted life makes you more interesting not necessarily more prosperous. I question any definition of being a success at such and such if it’s based purely on monetary gain. The normative definition of success is heavily weighed on societal gain and little for the individual. A cog in the machine with pre planned constrained freedom. I think true success is having the freedom to do what you want to do. Ideas change. What I wanted out of life as a young man is not what I want out of life as a middle aged man. The picture of the world is different. Tastes change with age. So do ideals.
I’m more referring to unlived life. A lot of us got schizophrenia before having a chance to enjoy much or the prodormal symptoms interfered which gets us down
Does your unlived life involve being successful monetarily?
No, 15characters
This is a very sore point for me. I blame my family 50% and schizophrenia 50% for my unlived life.
If my family had been kind and I still had schizophrenia things would have been ok.
Sorry to hear , I hope that it resolves and you’re able to feel more peace. I can relate a fair bit with the effect of family
It feels like I have had to start again more times than I would have done without sz
I mean both life and work
I really have developed an insecurity about restarting life because of schizophrenia. I feel as though it’s the thing I dread most
All my decisions have been now to accommodate to remedy or mitigate the odds of restart - it sure is a headache in some ways
It’s a really bad problem
Most people do it just a few times
Starting from scratch each time and repeatedly blowing it all up is very stressful
Like a dog chasing its tail
But if you give up on yourself that’s probably the worst
I don’t have it in me, I really don’t. Forum members have impressed me so much with how much they restart despite the illness.
I just hope this restart of mine, is a smooth one which is manageable. I couldn’t live with myself if I gave up. When I hadn’t given up but couldn’t find a way - I was suicidal to the point of so much pain, truly is horrible - I agree with you
I’ve had to start over several times. The worst times being in the aftermaths of my severe psychotic breaks and my failed marriage. Well, my marriage ended a couple months after my most major psychotic break. For a while after that break I decided I’d hang myself if I had another such break, rather than start my life over once again.
I restarted my life several times. Every time is more agonizing than the last, i refuse to do it again. I will die before going thru that again, i am too old and set in my ways to restart again. I am content with just existing, with my own circle of friends and my own miserable life.
I made peace by making up for lost time in the time I have left.
I think that someone with schizophrenia, or schizoaffective disorder, can live a happy and fulfilling life. What a happy and fulfilling life might be for one person is different for the next.
For me, I do as much as I can to live a full life and contribute to my family, while having friendships and relationships with extended family. I make it a point to keep myself around healthy people and healthy situations.
I’d say I still have a full life in spite of schizoaffective disorder, but it’s not what it would be if I’d never experienced MI.
As some on here already know, I was in med school at the time of my first severe psychosis, my first psychotic break I mean. Really though, my chronic psychosis started at around 14-15 years old.
Who knows what kind of path I may have ended up following. I imagine I’d have more friends and be more financially successful.
It’s okay, though. I can never get those ruined years back; all I can do is try to make the most of the life I ended up living.
Many people have regrets about not living up to their full potential. This isn’t exclusive to people with mental afflictions.
I’d say I’ve almost made peace with my unlived life or maybe I have already. It’s the price I paid. There’s much I regret, yet at the same time I think I regret nothing. I wouldn’t have my future if I didn’t have my past. But I’m ready to be excited for whatever life brings my way.