For everyone who’s similar to me and feels they lost out in life because of schizophrenia I just want to say I hope you are able to find peace in the things that didn’t happen. That perhaps this was the way things were “meant/destined to be” and that you can still have a full life
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Good point.
I’ve long noticed a trend here. Some users dwell too much on the “rosy” past…
I too have had a good life before sz. Not exceptional but decent.
I no longer invite regrets for what was / could’ve been. I stay focused on the here and now.
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Living a convoluted life makes you more interesting not necessarily more prosperous. I question any definition of being a success at such and such if it’s based purely on monetary gain. The normative definition of success is heavily weighed on societal gain and little for the individual. A cog in the machine with pre planned constrained freedom. I think true success is having the freedom to do what you want to do. Ideas change. What I wanted out of life as a young man is not what I want out of life as a middle aged man. The picture of the world is different. Tastes change with age. So do ideals.
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I’m more referring to unlived life. A lot of us got schizophrenia before having a chance to enjoy much or the prodormal symptoms interfered which gets us down
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Does your unlived life involve being successful monetarily?
No, 15characters
This is a very sore point for me. I blame my family 50% and schizophrenia 50% for my unlived life.
If my family had been kind and I still had schizophrenia things would have been ok.
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Sorry to hear , I hope that it resolves and you’re able to feel more peace. I can relate a fair bit with the effect of family
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It feels like I have had to start again more times than I would have done without sz
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I mean both life and work
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I really have developed an insecurity about restarting life because of schizophrenia. I feel as though it’s the thing I dread most
All my decisions have been now to accommodate to remedy or mitigate the odds of restart - it sure is a headache in some ways
It’s a really bad problem
Most people do it just a few times
Starting from scratch each time and repeatedly blowing it all up is very stressful
Like a dog chasing its tail
But if you give up on yourself that’s probably the worst
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I don’t have it in me, I really don’t. Forum members have impressed me so much with how much they restart despite the illness.
I just hope this restart of mine, is a smooth one which is manageable. I couldn’t live with myself if I gave up. When I hadn’t given up but couldn’t find a way - I was suicidal to the point of so much pain, truly is horrible - I agree with you
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I’ve had to start over several times. The worst times being in the aftermaths of my severe psychotic breaks and my failed marriage. Well, my marriage ended a couple months after my most major psychotic break. For a while after that break I decided I’d hang myself if I had another such break, rather than start my life over once again.
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I restarted my life several times. Every time is more agonizing than the last, i refuse to do it again. I will die before going thru that again, i am too old and set in my ways to restart again. I am content with just existing, with my own circle of friends and my own miserable life.
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I made peace by making up for lost time in the time I have left.
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I think that someone with schizophrenia, or schizoaffective disorder, can live a happy and fulfilling life. What a happy and fulfilling life might be for one person is different for the next.
For me, I do as much as I can to live a full life and contribute to my family, while having friendships and relationships with extended family. I make it a point to keep myself around healthy people and healthy situations.
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I’d say I still have a full life in spite of schizoaffective disorder, but it’s not what it would be if I’d never experienced MI.
As some on here already know, I was in med school at the time of my first severe psychosis, my first psychotic break I mean. Really though, my chronic psychosis started at around 14-15 years old.
Who knows what kind of path I may have ended up following. I imagine I’d have more friends and be more financially successful.
It’s okay, though. I can never get those ruined years back; all I can do is try to make the most of the life I ended up living.
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Many people have regrets about not living up to their full potential. This isn’t exclusive to people with mental afflictions.
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I’d say I’ve almost made peace with my unlived life or maybe I have already. It’s the price I paid. There’s much I regret, yet at the same time I think I regret nothing. I wouldn’t have my future if I didn’t have my past. But I’m ready to be excited for whatever life brings my way.
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