I broke down sobbing in the middle of my workout today. It was humiliating. I think a few different things were at play. I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been, despite a healthy diet and regular exercise. I missed my sarcosine four days in a row. I’m weaning myself off amitriptyline. I’m registering for classes on the 5th. And it all boiled down to an extremely low self-esteem day for me. I usually have superhuman confidence, so it kind of threw off Mr. Star. I need to find a way to feel better about myself. I’m not going to have high self-esteem when I’m 15 pounds overweight and rising.
It makes no sense to me that I would lose it in the middle of yoga. If I’m sad because I’m overweight, shouldn’t exercising make me feel better? Now I just feel even worse because I couldn’t work out today. @Sarad, I think I kind of get it now. Sometimes, even when you know exactly how to improve your situation, you just can’t force your body to comply. I don’t think it has anything to do with willpower. It’s some horrible force inside me, that just wants to see me fail. Does anyone know how to deal with that?
Maybe just a you day make it all about you. Hardest thing as one of the most available treats is food which ends up being a double edged sword with weight loss issues. But all the girly stuff is good for self esteem long hot soak in a bubble bath, new hair cut etc etc stuff that makes you feel good and often the stuff we tend to neglect with sz more then other mental disorders.
I sometimes feel bad about myself when I’m not able to run as fast as I would like due to the extra weight. For me it was like 30lbs, but it’s not rising. I try to look at what has improved rather than stressing about how I’m declining, for example I look a bit softer now but I’m still me at the end of the day.
I was visiting my brother in Portland, and I just kind of forgot. I did just take some and I feel a bit better now. Thanks everyone for the hugs and encouragement!
I’m calling amitriptyline withdrawal, sweetheart. Coming off antidepressants, even if you were using them for other reasons, is rough.
Look: you’re smoking hot. You’re brilliant. You talked a school into revising their whole plan of study for you. And sometimes you just need to cry. I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this. I have faith that you’ll rebound quickly, though.
@Ninjastar I would kill to be just 15 pounds overweight…don’t worry. that is a very small amount to be overweight. I am 5’-8" and weigh 240! just think how I feel…you’re lucky.
Its okay to not feel good @Ninjastar
I get you, i feel bad about myself every day but luckily my mood swings make it easier: I just wait for a “good” cycle Lol. But the low self esteem leads you down in so many ways: you start to avoid certain activities, you avoid social contacts, you are afraid to make an argument, you are becoming introvert and, the worst of all, self hateful.
I don’t have a magic advice. I guess that’s partly a withdrawal ( I didn’t know you’re coming off ad’s), but im sure that no one really sees or even cares about your new 15 pounds. And why be so harsh to yourself?
You know that women’s bodies are complex, sometimes hormones and stress add to it, or PMS or hundred another things.
Oh, and mind another unfortunate truism: everybody gets few pounds after marriage.
It’s so true! Mr. Star has been having the same problem, so it’s probably not my medicine.
@everhopeful, I was only taking amitriptyline to manage migraines, and new studies are showing that Geodon alone can be just as effective for migraines. My doctors never intended for me to be on both drugs long-term, because the combination can cause a fatal heart arrhythmia.
