Sometimes I worry that I’ve lost myself. I can’t remember anymore were ideas came from me or the voices. It makes me question what i am. Am i still me or am i now a compilation of them or are they me or… i know no idea in my head is original i had to read it or be told so was there ever a me at all.
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Yes. That is what lost is. You are hurt and lost. It helps me to cuddle up on my bed like a young child and notice my hands noticing each other. Little actions like this warm my heart and I can, at least for a moment, find myself.
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I was thinking something like this yesterday. I am not very willful. I think maybe this is good for getting along with people. But I am looking for ways to improve my sense of self and of will power.
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I lose my self sometimes in episodes. Can’t tell if it me or my thought when my mind just becomes a blank vast of space. And when something comes in, like the thought/hallucination to move a limb I can’t tell if it is a thought of my own or of a command hallucination.
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