Lonely; Confused

I’ve had schizophrenic related symptoms for the past following years. It has consumed my life entirely, and almost rendered me completely dysfunctional. I was 12 when I started hearing outside voices, telling me ‘to kill myself’ and ‘I’ll be better off dead.’ My supposed triggered is my traumatic bullying experience, it’s unusual one, rather not get into it. One day all of all sudden my thoughts seem to be broadcasted publicly out of the blue, exclaiming my will of innocence towards ‘problematic’ situations. I’ve invested so extensively into the conversations of my little ol reality mind-show, mind show as in monologue, specifically of my business. I heavily whole heartedly believe that people can read my mind, why? Because folks I don’t know of dismiss me as evil or extraordinarily passive with me. It makes absolute no sense to me. I do think terrible things, things I rather not admit, but I never actually had evident criminal history. And I don’t want any, it’s driving me insane, hopefully I can get prescribed meds soon. My parents are finally taking measures to accommodate me, and they’re very stressed out.

But is it possible for thoughts to be read?
I was harassed by an adult at the hospital and mocked of information I did not disclosed about. And it was very private information, but they basically excluded me and pressured me to bring out the worst in me. It worked, so that sucks. However, I really appreciate the women who chose to walk away from me, instead of heed into it.

By the way when I mean worst, I mean, they wanted for me to fight them. I didn’t, but they were instigating the desire of a fight. By putting me on the spot and hitting where it hurts. Yes, my feelings.

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No one can read your thoughts, and they can’t be broadcasted. Are you on any medications? Because you probably need to if their that bad.

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First of all, welcome to the forum. This is a wonderful place to find support.

I can assure you that thought broadcasting is a common symptom among those who suffer from schizophrenia. I myself have dealt with it before. Based on my experiences with it, I have to say it is not real. Medication has gotten rid of that symptom for me. Which leads me to my next question…

Are you taking any form of medication and/or receiving help from a professional mental health worker like a psychiatrist? If so, then I’d suggest you talk to your mental health professional about it. If not then I’d suggest you seek proper treatment with a professional mental health worker. The things you described are not real and can be minimized with proper medication and treatment. Have a wonderful day bleh_Bleh. May you overcome your loneliness and confusion.

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Welcome to the community!

Thought broadcasting is probably the worst schizophrenia symptom, and thankfully not everyone gets it. But for the few that do, it basically makes earth living a kind of hell.

Here’s a forum thread about some anecdotes of people resolving their thought broadcasting with certain meds like Abilify and Haldol:

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Another thing I would like to add is first, welcome to the forum. And second, abilify a antipsychotic got rid of my thought broadcasting

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Welcome to this corner of the universe. I hope you have a treatment team that will help you with your struggles. Take care of yourself.

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it feels so real, people I don’t know have a strong hatred towards me

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my psychiatrist is waiting it out, she doesn’t want to give me stronger meds because I’m still young

thanks, I feel like dying everyday but, my psychotic symptoms won’t even let me feel any sense of sadness or happiness, it’s very short lived

me too!:disappointed_relieved:

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