Llama’s big dumb. TW

I got lax, I wasn’t prepared, let complacencies win out. I was bored, I’m scared of the state of the world. Pick one. It really doesn’t matter. I did a big dumb

I took 55 100mg tablets of Zoloft over a 3 day
Period, was flying high as a kite for days, overdosed and passed out in my own filth.

I’m on day three of recovery. Body feels weak. Mind is raw. And I’m lucky I didn’t get more hurt than I did.

I’m trying to unpack what lead up to it. I scared my family. I think I need to redouble my sobriety efforts. Need to stay strong.

I’m tired though. Part of me is done with this world, ready for what comes next, still believing I’m a god. Need to let that go.

I’ve given up complete control of my pills to my mother and fiancée, I can’t trust myself with them at this time. They doll them out.

Just wanted to get that off my chest, helps to put it to words.



Did you tell your medical team ?

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Sad to hear ur not feeling well. Prayers to you.


Yes, they needed to know, as much as that scared me to tell them.

Doctor is having me titration down on the Zoloft. I’m now on a half dose for a week, then another half. He didn’t want me going cold turkey, and made sure I didn’t have pill control with my family.

I’m on watch, and really don’t want to go on the ward. I feel safest at home.


Hey Llama. You survived. That is the important thing here. We all have our dark momenta. But you got the chance to do the next right thing, and take responsibility for your actions. You took steps to prevent a repeat of the incident. Many hugs to you. You’re a good egg, and I’m sorry you have been suffering so badly.

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Thank you ninja.

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Awww…we all mess up sometimes. I’m so glad it didn’t kill you and you are on the road to recovery. Your family sounds very supportive. Let them care for you. Them monitoring your meds is a way they can take care of you until you are back together. We are very fragile and sometimes we break. Stay strong and get better soon.

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