Living by yourself?

DX'd - Other
1

i have been living independently for 2 years now with some help from sweep,

sweep is my friend and she helps me out and me her, sometimes i cant do the shopping and she will get food for me, and she helps me to drive as i am on her insurance and use her car as a learner, we go out a lot and try and stay busy,

the bins are a pain but i like to seperate the recyclables and put them in the proper bins to be collected like i have four bins lol, i hate doing dishes and i know when i am letting things slide when i leave them to mount up and i end up with like no room on my counters for anything and nothing to eat with etc.

i try and shower and brush my teeth and shave but i usually put it off until i really need to which is a bit stupid as i end up scruffy and a bit smelly, i do always change my clothes every night tho and i try to keep on top of the washing but sweep helps me with that sometimes,

its much easier when you have someone to help you with your weaknesses, i am strong in other areas but its the same with sweep hopefully will get better with time tho

shops are nearby and i like to go for tea or a sandwich/roll at lunch time in the cafe, i am in a good area so i have been very lucky.

does anyone want to live independently or have to or do you think you could cope? what sort of things would you struggle with?

i guess its easier for me because i am stable and not planning on going back to hospital anytime soon lol

3 Likes
2

I have my own place, but I live with my sis. Many on here know this.

She moved in when I was at my first place on the other side of town, section 8 housing and I was still on SSI benefits. I had broken my sobriety back then and was heading down the wrong path. I wanted her to move in because of other family chaos, I was thinking I could keep her safe. Our parents said "No way, not in 100 years unless you stop drinking and take your medsā€¦ If you can make 6 months of stability, then weā€™ll talk.

That was a hard 6 months. I personally didnā€™t to that great a job at not freaking out about cameras in the flat, stalkers and kidnappers, every little noise I thought someone was breaking in, I thought our place was haunted. But I worked so hard to keep the place reasonably clean, keep myself together and have a normal routineā€¦ take out the garbage, clean dishes, listen to my visiting nurse and case worker.

My sis moved in, then it got easier. Every little noiseā€¦ I just said it was my sis, not a person breaking in. Dishes, and cleaning, and laundry, my poor sis did. She made it look so easy. She is 11 years younger then me and she just had this under control. Laundry, dishes, food shopping, setting up the vacuumā€¦ she didnā€™t even give this a second thought.

There were a few times I wasnā€™t very med compliant and my parents would sayā€¦ ā€œYour sis moves back home if you donā€™t at least try and stick with your recovery program.ā€ It took some time to equalize that situation as well. I would slip, my sis would be taken home. Iā€™d be fine with thatā€¦ Iā€™d get lonely, I want my kid sister back. I take my meds, get back on track, she gets to live with me again. Spin cycle and repeat. Until my negative swing. Then having her around was a life saver.

Well Iā€™ve moved twice since to end up in this place and Iā€™m learning how to self manage better. Iā€™m figuring out how to budget, how to take care of my bills, how to do my own laundryā€¦ How to cook for myself. In a way I do live on my own, but not really.

I donā€™t do well living completely on my own. I most likely wonā€™t be able to. But I have no idea what the far future will bring.

2 Likes
3

I live on my own and do most things for myself. But my dad and SO stop in frequently to check on me. My dad takes out the garbage and mows the lawn, asks me a couple times a week if I scooped the kitty litter and gotten milk and bread. My SO makes sure I feed the animals and have toiletries and meds and that I do laundry. But mostly they help remind me to do things.

3 Likes
4

Iā€™ve been living alone for almost 2 years now. Iā€™m not the best with cleaning or cooking. But I try to keep my place neat for when friends come over.

I do have a lot of help from my friends. They remind me to take care of my hygiene, and to get haircuts regularly. They also take me to do all of my shopping, as I cant drive anymore.

They also serve as my Powers of Attorney, taking care of my finances when Iā€™m not capable.

But this year has been a bit different. Iā€™m requiring less help from friends, and learning to manage things on my own. I just have to stay motivated and keep negative symptoms in check.

I hope to become even more independent as time goes by. And who knows: maybe Iā€™ll try driving again!

Blessings,

Anthony

4 Likes
5

@radmedtech-- I think this past year has been a very reawakening time for youā€¦ If you donā€™t mind me saying so. I remember when I first found this site and you were gearing up to get out an walk more.

You know how on this site, old threads pop up on the bottom of the screenā€¦ The one that happened to pop up was the one where your friends set up the fund raiser for you.

I just wanted to say it makes me so happy to see how far youā€™ve come and just how quickly you seem to be gaining ground. I bet if you put your mind to it, you can get back in the swing of driving. Maybe have a friend drive you to a nice quiet back country road and then take over for a few minutes from there.

Staying motivated is the key. Having the want.

Iā€™m always rooting for you.

2 Likes
6

Thanks so much, James! It feels really good to have others point out my progress. I canā€™t always see it by myself.

I have to say that this forum, and friends like you, has been extremely helpful and motivating to me. I see so many people doing great things, and it just strengthens my will to be better and more positive. In many ways, participating in the forum has been very therapeutic.

Iā€™m glad I joined, and Iā€™m glad I met many good people like you.

Many Blessings,

Anthony

2 Likes
7

I lived alone for 18 years now, own house for 11 years. Moved to couple new cities recently as I was sick of being tied to one location.

Got into financial trouble after moving to really expensive place and it was one thing after another, eventually could not afford it and had to move back to the parents. Iā€™ve digging out of the mess nowā€¦Planning next adventure > Probably try living in smaller town & try to work remotely. May try to find a little property to grown my own food. Little towns are so cheap.

I guess, I never had a parent involved in anything positive in my life. Both were miserable with each other & just roommates. Dad drove Mother to always work on some project he thought ā€˜the house neededā€™ and little sister and I just kept each other busy. Contact with both parents was so negative with verbal harassment, constant fighting and OCD/hypochondriac Mother, my sister and I neither wanted any attention. It made us both independent really youngā€¦

2 Likes
8

:boom: Right in the same boat with you on that one. There are days I feel so stagnant and wondering when itā€™s going to get better. It does help when some one will sayā€¦ ā€œItā€™s already getting betterā€

My sis did a good one a few weeks back. She asked me to write out my day the way I used to. Then go back to my journals and re-read the same day about two years ago or even a year ago. I think Iā€™ve been so busy trying to progress as quickly as possible, I forgotten to enjoy the progress.

2 Likes
9

I had ever lived on my own for 6 years because I was separated with my husband. I took care of everything around the house, Paying the bills, cleaning and mowing. However I got a serious relapse in 2012 and was hospitalized . My husband took a leave from his work and came to visit me and looked after me. I was moved by his care and perseverance. So we reached a reconciliation after that. Now we live happily together.

3 Likes
10

@green6-- I hope you donā€™t mind this off topic storyā€¦ but I had an across the street neighbor go through a bit of the same thing.

The couple was divorcing, but had joint custody of the dog, some of the settlement was HE had to come over and take care of the big yard that he JUST HAD to have.

After almost 8 months of him visiting and doing the yard work and spending time with the dogā€¦ they got back together. They remarried about 6 months ago. They seem really happy together now.

11

I live with my husband, so Iā€™m not on my own, but we live on our own, not with his parents anymore as we did when we were first married, his parents which we both depended on. Although I am not on my own, it feels like it, because neither my husband nor me are independent. He relies on me to drive him around to do his business (he doesnā€™t have a job, but deals a lot with banks as he invests money) or to take him to hospital for his doctorā€™s appointment, and I rely on him to drive, because I am still a learner and he has a license. He relies on me to cook and clean (although he said if I want him to help clean I must say so) and I rely on him for money, food and clothes. We are inseparable, canā€™t live without each other, if we would separate we would go live with our parents. Hopefully that wonā€™t happen, life is tough but I love him a lot.

3 Likes
12

I live independently but not at a very high level. I am best at managing my finances and paying my bills by direct debit. Though how i will cope next year when i expect my income to drop drastically is anyoneā€™s guess
Areas i struggle are with keeping my flat clean and tidy and personal hygiene/grooming.
I had hoped to get a weekly payment to help me with social care ie someone to help me keep the flat clean for starters. They worked out a budget based on the application form but due to income I would have been expected to fund it all myself.
Whilst currently feasible it would not be so if and when my income drops around Ā£150 a week. The social worker withdrew the application.
Unfortunately i have nobody near who can just pop round and help me out at quick notice.

1 Like
13

I have lived independently since 1995. That year I moved in with my sister in her condo. I rented a room but I had the run of the house. I payed my share of bills and I did my share of cleaning. My chores were taking care of the outside and cleaning the bathroom. And I had to clean up after myself in the kitchen and living room. I lived with her for three years and pulled my own weight always. It was a good situation. I didnā€™t get special treatment and my sister, who is very social, invited me to do almost everything she did with her friends and boyfriends.So I went water-skiing for the first time. One other long term boyfriends at this time was riding the Silicon Valley boom of the nineties. He bought a beautiful brand new house in the foothills, he bought a boat, two jet skis, he had his own water skis.Basically he had everything.And when my sister went camping or jet skiing with him I was always invited. He had the best SUV money could buy. This was when SUVā€™s were first getting popular.I donā€™t know about other states besides California but starting in the nineties the most popular cars in California have been SUVā€™s. Anyway, after three years I had to move out and from 1998 to 2008 I rented rooms in peoples houses. In my current situation I live by myself in a nice studio. It will be six years in December of 2015.

1 Like