When I was young I partied a lot. Drank too much, used drugs. It was easy to bounce back from a long weekend drinking and drugging and pull myself together and make it to work at the bank and still work circles around the others come Monday.
Now that I’m older, and out of shape, I worried every time I used if my body could handle it. I worried how it would mix with my meds so lots of times I would skip some of my meds. It’s been 3 1/2 months since I’ve used but I’m having all sorts of health problems pop up. I can’t help but wonder if using recently didn’t bring some of this on.
When I’m having a hard time with cravings, or something triggers me to want to use, I think of the physical toll and how my older body simply can’t recover from the abuse. This is just another tool in my toolbox. 3 1/2 months clean just using any tool I can scrape together. That’s not too bad I guess.