What is the purpose of life if you can not experiment positive emotions?
my hope is i;m saved after life
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That can change. When I was young I had this kind of desperate feeling that life was passing me by. Now that I’ve gotten older there are things I like about my life.
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Hi Pedro, thoughts about after life might be helpful, I like to think about other lives too but I have not a strong belief as foundation. If it helps you it is good. I can not leave easily this kind of lethargy, which I can not explain.
Don’t mind @san_pedro too much. He’s on a religion kick at the moment. Apparently being here for years and knowing the rules, and then knowingly breaking them is his thing. Religion-talk here pervades despite REPEATED admonishment from mods. For the record, I don’t do the religion mumbo-jumbo.
To fight for the right to party
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Crimby, I feel life is pointless, sometimes since I do not know why or what I am doing here or where happiness comes from strictly, I am into the darkness lately. I have some trouble experiencing any pleasure in life, so I do no keep activities and just remember bad past experiences. It not only about life being short but what should I do until “the final day”, the sense that I can not change anything, specially the cognitive traits of a person with schizophrenia. On the other hand, I feel sadness and inactivity lately, specially since I am on an injectable. I do not know why my days are so grey lately and if dosage is making things worst. Last moments of happiness had to do with music composition, but my ability to do that (improvisation) gone away. Suddenly, I am not good any more. It was like something divine but that lasted for that 3 minutes, the last song I recorded on computer. By the end of the day I start to think what I am motivated to do, but then the day is ending and next morning there are pills and more dosage and I just decided to do nothing again. I wonder if it is a phase and I don`t remember well being clearly or if it is really permanent and I will never change this mood. It has been a while since I feel empty and non responsive.
“Make ur own purpose”. Ha i laugh at people like that. We r all just cogs in the wheel of time. Our purpose is just to “be” (exist) and then die. Then who knows after that. Past existing we have absolutely no purpose whatsover and i mean that in a way that doesn’t also leave things to chance. Theres really very little luck in reality, what will happen will happen no matter what and theres no controlling it. If u were to become a bestselling author or musician tomorow that still wouldn’t mean u had a purpose it just means thats ur path and plan. It has nothing to do with purpose. Purpose is meaningless. If that depresses u im sorry but it also depresses me and many other people.
I think a party without music is not a real party, so I wonder where my inspiration is right now and why I can not play my instrument or to have fun again. I am trying to think music might be a life purpose and I am still confuse, but that a small advance. I need to research my experiences but not the bad ones perhaps.
Kazuma, thanks for your reply. I consider I feel depressed. “Purpose is meaningless”, music is good to the soul, but I am still unsure. “A path and plan” might take us to something we thought it was the best before but then it is much more an illusion. Unsure.
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yea just keep existing and u have purpose. Think real hard what it would be like if u never existed
That`s an “astronomical” thought, Kazuma. It is a nice exercise, thanks. If I never existed probably I would not think or care for existence, but if I stopped to exist knowing past experiences, certainly, I would miss something in life or at least someone. So I am like blind right now, perhaps due absence of good present emotions, but there is a meaning. We have our archives in our minds but the documents available right now are those critical, boring and dark. The search for good memories helps possibly.
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hey Dreamy, I was in darkness for a very long time…there are things I have to change soon like stopping smoking that would greatly improve my quality of life so I am too walking in gray days right now. Your music will come back…perhaps your depression is situational and you can get better at music when you feel better? when I was depressed my guitar just sat there every day cursing me for not playing. Now I play every day.
Lots of people feel the way you do. And lots of people just keep going until the good times come around. It’s happened with many people. So you may be the same. Just because you feel bad now doesn’t mean it will be permanent. You just keep struggling like we all do and things could get better.
Life is full of peaks and valleys. But it’s up to you to change your life. And changing your life for the better is very possible. You don’t give up because you broke your leg or your back, and you don’t give up because you have schizophrenia.
Hey, I understand how difficult life is with a mental illness. I’ve had paranoid schizophrenia since I was 19 and I just turned 55 last week. That’s having schizophrenia for 35 years. My case in the beginning was horrible, severe, scary, painful, and hopeless. But I kept going and now I’m looking back at 33 years of being employed ( at many different jobs) I’ve had my own car and I have been driving since 1997. I have gone to college despite this illness and I only need four more classes for my degree. You don’t recover overnight. It may take years but you just do the best you can with what you’ve got.
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Man’s purpose is to tame the universe. The problem is sometimes the one he has to tame is himself.
I felt the way you do when I was on the Haldol shot. God, I was miserable. I was just marking time, waiting for the end, which seemed a depressingly long way off. Things got better when they put me on Geodon and Seroquel. Maybe you could talk to your pdoc about changing your med’s. I can’t guarantee positive results, but they probably can’t make you worse. If your pdoc refuses, be assertive. Tell him, “Listen, this is my reality at stake here. This concerns the quality of my life.”
Yeah i don’t like that. Sounds a bit to similar to manifest destiny to me. The universe is fine without us we should be greatful for what it is and where we are. I don’t think we hold the authority to “tame” anything.
No grand purpose but we can set our own little goals or big goals and work towards those. Helps me through the day if i set possible goals and try to motivate to get those done. As far as afterlife i plan on drinking mead in valhalla with the gods and my ancestors fighting mythical beasts and enjoying immorality.
I have paranoid schizophrenia since 19 too, and I am 34 now. I would prefer to see this as chemical and temporary, the effect is dark but maybe I should try to see in retrospective since there are distant good memories, even if then are hidden in past. There is not much evidence that things will change rapidly, I had a relapse, and questioned even about a post-psychotic depression. In retrospective some events occurred, I have a driving licence now too, I had a girlfriend, I composed music (what I thought to be impossible for me), although I am not able to pursue a degree. There are too many constraints for that. I believe the challenge is much bigger for a schizophrenic. Peer support might help, unfortunately in my region there are not many opportunities for that, I live in small city where there is nothing dedicated to mental ill and/or schizophrenic people yet, apart for the Hospital where people go for appointments. Thanks Nick, and everyone for the kind replies.