Life lessons, money

when i was working money would just slip right through my fingers. i would spend on all kinds of stuff, without much thought. i often think of all the money i spent and wished i would have budgeted and pinched my pennies, so today i could buy a house or condo. anyways, i was young and anticipated more money coming my way, not sza. now, i have to live on a budget, and it has taught me some valuable lessons, like only spending on what i need, which does include some creature comforts to make my life more enjoyable.

i hope to be back in the workforce full time within the next 5 years, god willing. and if i am working im not going to waste my money on vacations, and unnecessary things, but put my money away for a rainy day. my most liberal spending will be on healthy food, then just the necessities, like housing, maybe a used car. clothes etc. there are not a lot of things i want to buy anyhow, that i feel im missing in my life. my biggest weakness is travel, so will just have to look at pictures now, and go without that.

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I have to take inspiration from this. To be more determined to stick to disciplined spending.

Sometimes though, being young maybe, makes it harder to control urges.

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yeah maybe it’s just part of growing up.

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I worked a near full-time job for about five years. In that span, I bought a used car, a nice watch, and a smart tv- these were my only significant purchases.

The job I worked was challenging so I valued my earnings much more.

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I don’t know if this is rational, but I have always been afraid of going broke.

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Man am I scared of being broke again. Before schizophrenia I was very carefree with money because I could work any job I wanted and wasn’t worried about going insane and losing my mind. When I got sick I was very scared and ended up on disability. I was very happy in the beginning because my Medicaid was covering all of my medications, blood work, psychiatrist visits, appointments etc. But as I continued to stabilize I realized how trapped I actually was and how limiting disability actually is and how quick they are to take it from you.

I still stay with my parents and also get food stamps which is about $192 a month. I’m trying to figure out what type of job I can work that I can bring home at least $1000 a week without aggravating my symptoms so I don’t have to worry about my insurance and medications which cost around $600 - $800 a month.

I don’t know what I’m going to do about my future. One thing for sure is that I’m very mindful and conscious about spending my money. I have a good amount in savings but still worry a lot about how I will survive If I don’t have my parents. I want to be able to stand on my own 2 feet and be independent and find a good woman to marry and hopefully have a family one day.

I still try to stay busy and active and try my best to be grateful and happy of the progress I’ve made so far which was not easy. I try to better myself everyday but still worry about my financial situation.

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