I dont have any choice just to try to survive
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I hear ya. Surviving is the main thing I do. I work to pay my bills, that’s my big thing. An exciting life I lead.
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You schizoeffective or paranoid sz? You on haldol?
I have schizoaffective, bipolar type. Yes, I take Haldol, though just a low dose. I’m also on the high-dose Abilify Maintena injection, a high dose of Wellbutrin XL, and a more normal dose of Lamictal.
How about you?
I have paranoid schizophrenia i am also on low dose 5 mg haldol, 20mg abilify,
My mom says i looked better on xeplion i dont know it seems on hal dol is little bit esier
Do you have negative symptoms?
Life is very easy, eat, sleep and do your best! 
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I have some, but for the most part I am able to battle through them.
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I’m on Abilify 30mg but I have been depressed since getting out of hospital and my pdoc wouldn’t give me an antidepressant cuz she thinks it might make me manic…now I want to go off my meds cuz religious euphoria simply feels better than feeling this down. I don’t know what to do so I’m just existing. It sucks.
Life is hard. But I view it like a boxing match. Life will throw many things at you. Ups, downs, family problems, victories, loss, maybe even worse things. But like a boxing match, there’s eventually these kind of smooth breaks.
I think how we respond to all of this, is how we’re judged by our Creator (not pushing my beliefs on anyone – just stating what I believe).
Keep your head up, things will be Ok. Life often smoothes itself out after the tragedies and downs. I’m a walking example of such.
Take care 
Life is so so hard. I’m so tired of it. I just want it to end. My life is probably better now than ever before or ever will be later but I just wish i was dead instead of having to push past all of my problems and baggage. I can’t make friends, and my family is great but I feel so lonely for really no good reason. I hate having to take my pills every day, but I hate hearing those damn voices even more. I hate that I have depression on top of schizophrenia, and I hate myself. I think the effectiveness of the antidepressants are wearing off after having taken them for almost five years now, cuz i’m crying on a fairly regular basis despite taking a stupid amount of antidepressants. Do they even work? I have to take them to stop the voices help me not overeat and help me sleep, but I’m still absolutely miserable. I’m so tired. I keep praying to die all the time, but my prayers haven’t been answered. I’ve mentioned to my family that if I get cancer I’m not going to get treatment for it, I’ll just let it kill me. If i get diabetes I’ll try to control it though, cuz I don’t won’t to have to live blind or missing a leg or two. I’m so tired of feeling like a failure. I’m tired of how schizophrenia, both that belonging to my mom and then to me destroyed so much of my life. I’m so tired of trying to face my fear of driving a car. I think its the stress of needing to be able to drive a car and get a well paying job that stresses me out. I don’t know if I can do it. My family keeps rooting for me, but I’m not so sure I can do it.
Nice post, Zeno!
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Hang in there. Small baby steps is the secret. You don’t notice the change from one day to next. But look what your life was like a year ago. Compare on yearly basis. Not day to day. You take one day, one hour, one minute or one second at a time to cope with this illness. But progress can’t be compared in such short time.
How long have you been ill? I got my dx 7 years ago or so. If I compare myself to that, when I became ill, I am highly functioning today. If I compare myself to when I was well, I am modetate functioning.
Progress is compared with today and when you were at your worst shape. Not comparing to before illness.
I have days I wish I was dead too. Everything is too much. But I take baby steps to get through that.
I started hearing voices when I was 19 but I was wasn’t diagnosed until I turned 22. I’m now 27 so I was diagnosed almost five years ago. I always compare myself to what I was before I got ill. My psychologist and dad say that I’m doing a lot better compared to where I was when I was first diagnosed. It’s hard to remember baby steps but you’re probably right
It could be worse, picture that