Does anyone else make their farts as loud as possible when alone? And then when you’re with someone you kinda sneak it out.
Actually I’m bummed mine aren’t louder when I’m alone. I know how to make them quiet, but not how to amp them up
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I’m sorry to hear that. You really just gotta push full force when you feel one coming, there’s no secret.
I don’t know, I’ve learned the hard way to never trust a fart
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What if it is not a fart but 
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You have to feel them up a little as you let them out. Do a little double check that there’s no funny business.
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Yeah that’s happened to me before…
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For those interested check out the book:
Farting for Dummies by Gaston Scheiße
It’s a good read.
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Kinda gross but interesting. TW
Lol, I thought you were serious for a second, had to Google it, then I saw the name of the author.
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I always trust my farts tbh
I know what you mean by nearly shiteing though when farting. It happened to me once or twice but it was a clear liquid not a shite that came out. It was weird
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Lol! I know a little German. You naughty boy. 
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The best is when you sneeze and fart at the same time, like a full body type thing it’s awesome, a feeze or a snart.
Really surprised to find out this thread wasn’t started by @PinCushion
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I can spot a chordy thread a mile away but this one had me fooled too 
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One little kid explained it like this “My bottom burped.”
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Never trust a fart!!!
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