Sorry, but it’s true. When my sisters tell me to let people alone when I’m sticking up for my rights I am afraid they don’t get it. Believe me, I am careful and I do not want to get hurt or hurt anyone else but then I remember when I was 23 years old and fresh out of the hospital and working at a family run business and my boss would occasionally ask me to drive my car to get supplies for the business at a specialty store.
I did not grow up in this town and I didn’t know it that well but I dutifully got in my car to drive the main drag to get to the store. I did not bother anyone, I did not look at anyone and I was not causing trouble. But the atmosphere out there was brutal.
The famous philosopher who said, “Life is nasty, brutish, and short”. did not say that just to hear himself talk because he liked the sound of his own voice. (lol, my mom always to use that about my sister who actually did love the sound of he own voice and talked non-stop) He knew what he was talking about, he did not make it up to amuse his friends. No, he was serious and he was right. That’s why this saying has lasted for 400 years.
But yeah, I was quite frightened when I made those trips. So after 35 years of leaving people alone, I finally got a teeny bit smart and I have managed to win sometimes when people take advantage of me. I have no sympathy for those people. Newsflash to strangers: it is not brave or cool to pick on someone just because you are positive you can win and they may not be aware of everything around them.
I don’t go out looking for trouble. I would rather get along with people. I like people and I am not going to stop liking them. But I also will use every tool at my disposal to stick up for myself. (rant nearing the end) Hey, if some kid or grown man in a beat up old car is going to get on my tail and learn something for free at my expense, than I will use the fact that I grew up comfortably in an affluent town with luxuries and rich friends and now I have my 2012 Volkswagen to drive around in. That means I have power and I will use it and laugh at the people who take advantage of me and turn the tables on them. Is that mean? Yes it is, Good!
You want to be assertive, but discretion is the better part of valor (it’s better to be prudent and courageous than merely courageous). If someone is tailgating you don’t engage, for it’s hard to have a fight when there is only one person.
It takes practice to know when to engage and when not to engage.
Yes, you want to be assertive (standing up for your rights while respecting the rights of others), but some situations are worth investing more time than others.
Let’s say that you’re in a supermarket and you see a candy bar you really like and there’s only one left. As you’re reaching for it a 5-year-old boy grabs it just before you do. Are you going to ‘fight’ the 5-year-old boy for the candy bar?
I commute an hour each way on one of the most congested freeways in the Bay Area. Three days a week.
I try to walk peacefully down the street in a neighborhood of thugs, drunk college kids and wannabee hoods.
You know what I mean? Please don’t try to tell me to turn the other cheek or that I should be afraid and that I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m one of the friendliest guys you’ll ever meet but in my eyes everybody else is either a coward, a bully, or a con man. That is my experience.
It’s true that if you let people push you around, they’ll keep doing it. I guess I’m lucky to live in a pretty sedate neighborhood. I haven’t has anyone challenge me or try to get over on me in a long time. Maybe because I’m older and meaner.
Yeah, that’s pretty much me in real life. I am looking at spending the next several years in this city in this housing. Maybe the rest of my life. I am learning to smarten up.
Yep! Agreed. In my little town I’ve had people throw rocks at me or spout insults from the safety of their open house windows or just give me the finger while driving by for no reason. My take? They are all cowards. A person can be good but when you add the people part of it they are downright brutish.
I just did a stay in the ward again and one of the biggest things we discussed was how crappy people really are. Very sad. Very true.