Learning to love the child of me

My mom has been reminding me of when I was a kid all the great things I had going for me. Then at 11 or so I just really went downhill. I used to hate myself for what I did as a kid. But now I’ve learned to love myself more. I was a damn cool kid till I was like 11 then everything went downhill. I can’t blame myself all the way like I have for my “downfall”. My mom says environment. She also says genetics. She said one more thing I don’t remember. But she said one thing “your dad used to say he wishes he could see into your mind when you were a kid”.

I might’ve blocked out parts of childhood. Probably the good parts more than the bad parts. The bad parts I dwelled on. learning to love and accept myself more. Feels good now.


That’s something I’ve always struggled with. Past mistakes weigh me down sometimes, but I’m le as running to forgive myself.


Sometimes I regret the things I did while I was young, but I feel as if sz has kind of released me of that burden. It’s like no matter what I had done I still would have ended up this way. It was inevitable. So I’m glad I had my fun.

I was abused most of the time in childhood. I hated my childhood for it. But I know now that the experiences I had help me to love others more.
I’m also thankful that I’ve survived and didn’t end up choosing to end my life.

Thinking of you all.

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