Just wanted to say in a p g way that my husband knows everything now

Lounge
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so, i was about to go have a therapy session with my husband to tell him everything that has happened since we opened up the relationship and any deception on my part
he found out through correspondence between the therapist and i so the thing was more of a surprise than i meant. in a way i didn’t mean

this was inevitable since i’d been unwilling to hurt him and cowardly on the days of the 2 dates in question …

my husband now knows that i’m in a relationship which he knew about before but now he knows almost everything
he doesn’t know details

he was hurt by the dishonesty but we are working on it

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It seems weird to be in an open relationship and then try to hide you’re in another relationship.
Also, my impression of an open relationship is that you can each have sex with other people. I didn’t realize it meant having other serious relationships.

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I think that open relationships can be hard to maneuver.
It’s a bit risky

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I think that’s called “Poly” or “Polyamory”. I don’t keep up well with all these new fangled terms the kids are picking up. And you all stay off my lawn. :older_man:.

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TBH, with the deception involved and the disrespect to the deceived husband, I think this is more a case of “having your cake and eating it too.” :face_with_raised_eyebrow:

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hi 77Nick77
it was silly … it was as 2 individual nights not the relationship… or the situation… the 2 dates were very last minute and he was about to go on night shift… so i chickened out of telling him… it was silly… he knew about the whole situation other than that

now he knows everything other than any details

yes - there are no real boundaries around other serious relationships… it’s not natural for me to have sex in a non committed relationship or at least even when that does come naturally it’s not fulfilling…

we are opening up on my side only - my husband is asexual

like bowens said it’s called polyamory

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i know it’s a risk

there is nothing about my relationship with my husband that i would change i just missed sex for 15 years so much that i resented him

im not willing to go through that any more

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that’s quite the assessment
are you me?
are you my husband?

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Doesn’t this just make things unnecessarily complicated and stressful?

Do you need more than one person to focus on?

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Im polymyself but i would never feel comfy in a hidden relationship. Thats called cheating even in poly land

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it’s a little complicated… but not a lot more stressful than resenting my husband forever
yea it is a little stressful but we are having therapy with an open relationship positive therapist
i’ve been in an open relationship previously for 3.5 years and its certainly possible to love more than one person
the guy involved has been in long term poly relationships
my husband is monogamous which makes it difficult for people to understand that it can ever be fair

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Please be respectful to other members. May not be for you but not appropriate calling out others. Just move on.

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it wasn’t a hidden relationship it was 2 dates
one was a one night stand After a DADT decision and one was the first time with an agreed partner
i know it’s kind of cheating and i feel bad i came clean and it won’t ever happen again that i have sex without prior knowledge and consent

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Its not kind of cheating, it IS cheating.

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fair enough
that was the point of my thread

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Come on. You cant be serious about “being respectful” when thread in question is about someone cheating on their huband.

I too feel sorry for the husband.

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good for you sitting in judgment

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It’s not for everyone but I think the point has been made. Enough about it.

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I think this topic has been explored enough and you’ve got enough feedback for now.

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