I suffer from panic attacks. The need to be an effective leader and utmost professional drives me. But sometimes that is right into a ditch. Being busy all the time is easier. When I break and have a chance to breathe, the details come to eat me alive. I fear downtime. Through breathing exercises and routine, it has gotten easier. You can make adjustments, but when a panic attack hits, there is little in my control. The calming voice of reason is muted and the world becomes chaotic and claustrophobic. Impending death is forefront in my mind. Ativan is an almost instant relief and it is easy to see why you would want this medication. I have noticed though your posting history you question Ativan usage regularly. In your dreams, is Ativan ever a theme? Like the amount of Ativan you have or when your prescription fills? I do think that for panic attacks and medication changes a drug like this is useful, maybe necessary. It does seem to consume your thoughts though. It is clear you are being careful, just continue to be honest with your doctor about usage and feelings of dependance.
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I feel your pain. I have had many panic attacks in my life and baseline anxiety for years and years. I just started Paxil 3 days ago for PTSD and anxiety. I hope your new med helps you.
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Try to ride the panic wave, once you manage that they subdue.
I had them too and was on had tamizapam or something
till my psychiatrist said I had to learn how to get through them.
once I started doing that it got easy and I actively sought them out.
Never had them since
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I recommand you buspirone that IS different than benzodiazepines because the withdrawal IS easy and you must not increase the dose more and more.