Just talked to my daughter for 3 hours about her mental illness - complex ptsd caused by being with an abusive boyfriend from 13 to 20 years old without me knowing because she always talked about how great he was, and generalized anxiety disorder.
We also talked about her childhood which was rough because she was very ill for a very long time from infancy on and was always in severe pain. Plus, my husband was abusive towards me and I was always unhappy and full of anxiety.
Anyway, I’m mentally and emotionally spent. I’m exhausted and overwhelmed. I already knew all this , and have known about the abuse the last 2 years, but it’s so hard to hear and talk about when you love someone so much you could explode.
Anyway, I’m sad, I’m angry, I’m worried, I feel awful. I wish she had a better life. She’s so affected by it all she has no friends, can’t go to school and can’t work. It’s truly horrible.
I feel bad for her. Ive not had the experience, but much of the effects are relatable and imagination from seeing others in similiar leads to an understanding to how hurtful life has been in those 8 or so years.
Im sure things will get better and its very good youve sat down and taken the time to speak with her about how life has been. Should deffo give yourself and her, a pat on the back
Sometimes we need a little help from outside world when we are completely alone and/or feeling lost.
In my own experience most passive yet very effective thing can person do towards their way to recovery is to start listening meaningful audio books and podcasts. Emphasis on meaningful because there are a lot of empty chatter in podcast world that could further induce unnecessary hysteria. Last thing person need is to destabilize their mind even further.
This way person can start soaking up knowledge and positivity without even moving a finger or going outside house. Fast forward into future good things should typically start building on itself.
Surrounding yourself with wisdom and people you admire, by reading books or listening audio version of it, and podcast here and there can be good start since listening doesn’t require any concentration as we folks often lack.
The reason I’m sharing this because I can relate to many things. And by surrounding myself with these influences I found incredible serenity and peace.
You’re a good mom. I’m sure she really appreciates you as a person, as a mom, and all the things you do. You said you’re spent, but I’m sure you listening to her meant a lot to her.
My sister was in a abusive marriage for 20 years. Now she’s 48 and content with life. She finally divorced him a few years back. At one time she tried to leave in the car but he took a shotgun and shot the tires out.
She wasn’t able to raise her daughter my dad raised my niece. Partly I’m sure because of her ex husband and there were other things. I think he messed with meth. Either using or selling idk which but my sister said he was a drug addict.
Can’t change the past and what happened to both of you.
But hope the talk although painful helps both of you know how much you guys love/care about each other and will be there for each other. You and your daughter.