We have already got a budget. We want to move outside and closer to London but affordable enough … I want to be able to visit family and I can’t do that often from where he lives.
Also he can put his out on the market , wait for a buyer and only sell once he’s agreed on buying another place.
I sometimes wonder if it’s worth just ending it. I don’t intend to have another relationship after this one. Maybe I should just set him free.
If his current house is a mess, eventually his new house will be too.
You need to decide if you can live with the mess.
If you can’t, it’s not going to work out
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Honestly you sound so indecisive @anon25873142
You are giving him too much power
Ask yourself what is it that you want out of the relationship and try to move towards action
7 years at a stand still would be unacceptable for most people.
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I’m very indecisive because on the one had he’s been with me without complaining ever… I feel bad that I bring up wanting to get married…I’ve even told him I don’t need expensive jewellery let’s get engaged without it. But he won’t. So that’s the end of that.
The mess bothers me because we can’t move until he’s cleared it.
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So you won’t mind your home being a mess once you are living with him?
If so, then that’s good. Maybe consider moving into his place so he doesn’t have to be overwhelmed by the huge task ahead of cleaning it out
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No I would mind. But I can stop it from getting to that stage at least I think I can.
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It would be exhausting for you, and stressful for him if you’re always getting rid of or moving his stuff.
It won’t change. Sorry.
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Guys please be honest with me. Is it wrong to want marriage after 6 years of being together. I feel so terrible asking constantly now I feel like I’m losing my self respect.
It’s not wrong to want to marry him . I’m just wondering if it’s wise
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Well we haven’t been intimate in years reason is I don’t want to. Maybe it is time to let him find someone who can give him that
I think you should let him decide what’s right for him.
Be open and talk about it.
He may be ok with it, he may not.
Let him decide
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@jukebox opened a thread about communicating with spouse regarding budgeting, but I think it applies to everything. Communication is key in maintaining a happy and honest relationship. I like @LilyoftheValley’s suggestion that you talk to him about it. You can’t read his mind, so you have to communicate to find out. I hope you do, and I wish you the best of luck.
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One of my best friends in real life is a hoarder. Hoarding is a mental illness, just like SCZ. I have compassion for people in my life with untreated mental illness just like I’d hope they’d show me compassion for my problems …
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