Just a loser

School and Work
1

Feeling like the world’s biggest loser right now.

Got invited to a going-away dinner for a coworker and just didn’t have it in me to go.

Why bother? I can’t think of anything to say anymore because of this illness and can’t socialize comfortably with people unless I’m hammered, which is a no-go with these meds.

Plus, I feel like my coworkers hate me. I’d just be sitting there awkwardly like a lump while they chat amongst themselves.

Feeling like quitting this job.

I don’t fit in at all.

Anywhere.

Literally texted my coworker and told her I had anxiety and couldn’t go.

Really, I could not care less who knows anymore.

Fuuck it.

/endrant.

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2

I’m sorry @Schztuna . If it makes you feel better you seem to socialize quite well and fit in here on the forum.

I doubt that your coworkers hate you. I doubt you have given them reason to.

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3

You are not a loser. I hope this mood passes soon
:badger::badger::badger:

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I’m sorry that you are feeling this way. I hope you feel better soon. You are not a loser.

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Sorry @Schztuna.

I find myself in this situation a lot at work too.

If you go, you end up hating yourself. If you don’t go, you end up hating yourself. Sometimes you even end up hating your co-workers a little for their part.

It’s shame spiral.

My advice is to try to go easy on yourself. Sometimes you just don’t have it in you. I have a feeling your co-workers don’t hate you at all because you seem like a very likable person. But I know what it’s like to feel that way.

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You’re not a loser! You’re a survivor.

Also, sorry if I’m being blunt, you’re super hot! That’s something! I only ever saw a drawing in one of the selfie threads where a computer “draws” based on a photo, but you are stunning. I always list my appearance as one of the things that depresses me, but I’m not really that good looking.

How long have you been at the job? In my experience the first month can be super scary but after you become used to it, it gets to be routine.

You are a great example for sz/sza for being able to work. Try your best, but don’t overdo it of course.

As for “what’s the point,” you could say that about anything. There’s really not much point other than to feel happy and fulfilled, and perhaps make an impact, however tiny, on this world.

Best of luck, sorry if calling you attractive made my comment weird, I just know that when I get compliments that are true they really pick me up and was hoping it’s the same for you.

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Yes, you are not a loser. You should be proud of yourself for being able to work. Many of us cannot. That’s a hell of an accomplishment for one of us.

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@Schztuna Propranolol helps tame nerves when socializing I found.

We are all at different stages in life. So don’t worry about what others are doing.

I have little to chat about with people too as I don’t follow news or any political topics at all.

Just be yourself :blush:

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Look at that I couldn’t even utilize the forum technology to address you and instead it addressed @bowen

Forever a potato :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

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I was wondering why you were telling ME that @LevelJ1 :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

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You’re not a loser. Your coworkers will understand. Don’t be hard on yourself. Hugs

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You’re not a loser! Many people have anxiety. Plus, not everyone goes out with coworkers. It doesn’t make them losers

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You don’t have to go out with coworkers. I never did and had lots of jobs in the past. Sometimes I just ignored coworkers and did my work.

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There was a chicken/vegan burger luncheon for staff at my job, I didn’t go. I don’t do a lot of socializing either, I have no friends in real life. I’d probably end up sitting alone most of the time because I don’t feel like making small talk for hours on end, the people I have met at work are nice but I have nothing in common with them that I am aware of.

If you want a different job that’s your decision, but I wouldn’t recommend just sitting at home doing nothing. I did that for a long time and my self esteem took a hit, I felt like a useless loser. But I couldn’t work because my old meds knocked me on my ass.

There are a lot of people on this forum that don’t socialize much. It seems somewhat normal here, you appear to be social on this forum and fit in here, I haven’t noticed anything I would consider odd or weird about you but I only joined this forum this year. You don’t come off as a loser, even if you feel that way.

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Is going out with workers required for your job? I think its not a rule.

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You don’t have to go to every get-together; just go occasionally to one or two. I understand though, I’ve been going to work functions at various jobs since 1983. I mean since then it only happens occasionally.

My first job out of the hospital when I was 23 or 24 the bosses took us to a concert, a picnic in a park in the mountains, dinner up in San Francisco. I did them, I don’t know how. I wasn’t comfortable. And I had to do a few things at Sears in the 1990’s. Now, at my janitor job we occasionally have meetings and barbecues. I hate the barbecues. I barely talk and hang around the edges. What makes it worse is that everybody else is disabled too and they do better than me.

Tbh, you seem really nice to me, I understand your difficulty but you seem nice enough to at least fit in a little. You look normal too and I’m sure guys find you attractive and would chat with you. Probably, some of these negative feelings you think your co-workers think about you are just in your head. Do you have any evidence they dislike you?

I know what it’s like to be unpopular at work but I think you would do better than me. I haven’t felt this way in awhile but I always used to dread social functions but when I went I was always glad I went and I had a much better time than I thought I would.

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Sorry you feel that way @Schztuna

What helped me get back into socializing, was assessing my other health problems with a GP.

I have another condition called Hyperhidrosis (Excessive sweating), and I thought I was the most anxious person in the world.

I treated this condition with Anticholinergic and Self-Medication, then realized that Schizophrenia isn’t such a bad thing at all. I feel privileged to be a person with schizophrenia actually.

Look at the bright side of life.

If you are on disability benefits, you can gain access to the Disabled Toilets (it’s cleaner). You can gain access to Cheap or Free Government Healthcare (saves alot of money). You can do many things that normal people aren’t able to do. That is what makes you special actually.

Another thing that helped me get back on top of my game and socializing, was watching Korean Dramas seeing how people interact with one another. If you’re working in an office, Misaeng is a good one. It tells a story about how a struggling mid 20s young man go through life as an office worker. He had trouble with socializing with his co-workers, got scolded by his boss, and came from a poor family. Eventually, he succeeded and became the BEST.

Yes, it’s fiction. But, I believe we can learn alot from fictional stories as well.

So cheer up, and keep moving forward. If you don’t feel comfortable chatting with other people, just let them know and be honest. Nobody will judge.

We’re living in a world where the awareness of mental health is rising (especially since it was impacted by COVID-19 lockdowns)

Many winners are not happy in life. What we see on social media can be fake with their representations of luxury life, having alot of friends, etc. Deep down, they are probably struggling.

Tl;Dr: Be happy, that’s all what matters.

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You are not a loser @Schztuna you just suffer with anxiety.
You are also on a new med and your body and mind need to adjust.

Maybe you can get together with your coworkers another time.

Please don’t be so hard on yourself.

There’s always tomorrow.

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you’re cool, not going to a party is not a big deal and not something that should make u feel bad or want to quit. if you are working best thing to do is just do it as u always get to go home once your shift is over.
dont fall into the sz job instability, so many people quit jobs often or dont work that it seems its just the normal thing to do with sz, but if you can do it even if its a struggle dont give up.

im sure i will have to find work soon as things are not going well for me trying to get ssi and i have less negative symptoms some days than others

the coworkers shouldnt mind if u dont want to socialize outside of work lol work is for pay. making friends with coworkers is not necessary as long as you can respect eachother

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Know how you feel, went to BBQ for one company I deal with, made a effort to talk to a couple of people, they said a few words then walked away, just stood there by myself, so I left, doubt if I will go to another

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