Its a weird time of year

This is a weird time of year for me,

Not bad or good, just lots of haunting memories flood back and I get overwhelmed.

Today on my jog I was fine, then all of a sudden I could feel tears down my face,

I had to stop and cry for 20 minutes, I’m sure some neighbors saw it, maybe even some turkeys.

Last year I thought I’d ignore it and just keep on, it didn’t go well at all,

I ended up in the hospital for a little bit. That part is avoidable, because I’m trying to just be sad if I want to be sad, or happy or whatever the emotion is, just let it out. But I’m terrified of losing my brain again. I’ve been in the hospital a lot, but that last time was different, it was very dark. And the feeling lasted a very long time.

Everyone’s calling more often, trying to keep tabs on me, I know they care, but its adding to the stress. Having to reassure people I’m fine, isn’t making me more sane.

My husband isn’t the greatest support, he’s busy.

I want to go on a camping trip alone, but I’m not sure if its safe to do.

I’m going to talk to one of my friends that knows about the situation tomorrow, she’ll probably tell me to do the camping trip, or have an affair, or start day drinking. Some sort of awful advice.

If it were you, would you just be a trainwreck until you felt better or try to isolate?

What works best?

@anon54386108

I remember you said, you don’t want to take medication? Maybe it is a good idea to give it a try, at a low dose because I am certain it will help you.

We are all feeling the same way. I am pretty miserable myself and out of touch half of the day.

Please don’t drink or go camping alone. Why do you want to go camping alone? It is a strange idea?

It’s good to cry sometimes.

I have horrible PTSD and still fight with it everyday.

You need to find small tricks to direct your attention onto other things which are fully occupying.

Like when I feel depressed, I start cleaning. It isa. good trick for me.

I am not sure what will work for you but you need to try a whole bunch of different things to figure out what will help you.

Such as for example, every time you feel like crying or have flashbacks, you have to assign a task for yourself, such as counting every object in the room and writing the colors down. It sounds stupid but it works.

You can watch a special clip you really like or a song you really like. You could brush your hair or paint your toes.

Something you like to do. because really in the present moment, there is not much to be sad about.

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Thanks, @mermaid1.

I have a doctor’s appointment scheduled and I’m sure he’ll put me on medication,

But this situation is different.

Its not going anywhere, ever.

And I’m completely alone in coping with it. Not trying to feel sorry for myself, its just super unrelatable and kind of weird.

I’m going to keep trying to stay distracted, like always, its just harder this time of year.

Thanks for the thoughtful reply, homie!

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you can talk to me anytime you like and tell me the stuff that is bothering you.
I have a bunch of weird delusions myself. And I am lonely too. So you are not alone.

I hope you feel better tomorrow and stay strong.

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I’m doing this,

Right now…

Possibly lavender.

Maybe red.

I’m kinda a hussy,

So probably red.

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I love red toes. :star_struck:

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Hussy!

Just kidding,

Me too,

With the toes,

And the hussy thing.

:rofl:

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I have my own times of the year like this, my own memories that demand center stage for a while. Nothing to do about them - stuff hurts and it sucks.

Have you tried just observing your emotions? This was so hard for me to do but it helped me so much. When a crying jag would hit out of nowhere, I’d just take stock of what was happening like I was a clinician making notes for the file. I’d think, heart rate is speeding up. Throat feels like it’s contracting. Tip of nose hurts. Eyes stinging, tears welling. Difficulty swallowing. Breathing constricted. Faint sense of nausea. Or whatever. Just observe it and note, I’m upset because of x, and this is how my body reacts. Don’t fight it at all.

I have no idea why this works, but it’s almost miraculous for me.

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That’s a great idea,

I like it a lot.

Thank you, I really appreciate it @Rhubot.

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