That I wasn’t the gender she thought I was. I can feel secure when thinking I’m a boy or insecure when thinking I’m a girl.
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If I were a girl I’d probably be married with kids.
Not sure whether or not that would be preferable though. I’ve come to kind of enjoy not being tied down.
I feel bad for parents who want a daughter or a son but keep getting the wrong gender. My poor grandma had three girls when all she wanted was a boy, and my mom wanted a daughter she could be close to and treat like gold to make up for her own crappy childhood, but alas my mom gave birth to three boys. Our family is cursed like that 
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Same for my mom. She wanted a girl but she got 3 boys, me and my 2 brothers. Now she’s too old to have kids so she gave up.
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I wanted a daughter and was hoping to give my mom a granddaughter but schizophrenia stole 8 years from me and left me without much money or property. Was hoping my brothers might have a kid but one just got sz so his prospects are low and the other one well I’m not in a rush to lose him to marriage/family like I lost all my friends pre-sz.
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All I’ve got to say is “Nobody said life would be easy.” I think my mother would have wanted me if she hadn’t been so rejected, herself. She was just carrying on a negative tradition.
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