Sitting outside a hotel. There closed. It’s hard for me to be at the house alone. I wake up a lot. I feel better in my car. I can’t tell my family though. I don’t want them to think I can’t handle my mom out of town. She comes back Saturday.
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Sorry you don’t feel safe at home. I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t feel safe. I don’t drive, but I’d probably go delusional driving this late.
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Night time and hallucinations and being alone with memories kind of scares me. On top of it our neighbors were really creepy a couple of July 4ths lighting off fireworks and drinking. If my mom wanted to move I’d jump at it in a heartbeat.
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Yeah true, I honestly forgot what it was like being alone. I haven’t spent a night alone in over a year. I hope you can find comfort some how.
I’m debating what to do. I’m tired haven’t taken my meds and am not sure if I should Park here
Well the meds will most likely make you fall asleep. Make sure you won’t get picked up by the cops if someone sees you sleeping. It sucks you have to wait til Saturday. Can you try falling asleep with tv, and lights on at the house? Just taking meds and slip into sleep on accident at your house? Then you will wake up and think well that wasn’t so bad, I made it
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I’m at a 24 hour grocery store now. 3 more hours and I will go home. I’m not going to sleep till then.
i got a hotel room till my mom comes home. i will work this month and pay it off. My neighbors cause me a lot of anxiety around the 4th.
I’m leaving right now. I’m going to grab a pizza too and veg at the hotel working online. 
the money is worth relieving the anxiety. also i was paranoid the cops were going to knock on my window in the car and tell me to leave if i parked anywhere.
I’m not telling anyone.
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i only spent a night in the hotel room. i canceled it. I can’t afford it. it worked out okay. my mom is coming back tomorrow!
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Thank god its almost Saturday!!
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lol yeah you guys have been right there with me. haha
No one deserves to be put through that kind of stuff alone! We all support eachother
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definitely! i think when she comes home tomorrow i will be out the minute i hit the pillow. Thank you!
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No problem! 151515
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Aw, sully I feel bad for you! I’m going to guess by your posts that you are very young! Probably under 21? Was this the first time your family went out of town without you? That would be pretty scary at a young age for the first time especially with an illness like you have. Maybe you should be honest with your family and tell them you’re not quite ready to be alone yet! They’ll probably understand.
As for your neighbors that made me giggle. 
. Just so you know it’s not in the least bit creepy to celebrate on the 4th with alcohol and fireworks! That’s pretty normal behavior. I did that with some family and neighbors on the 4th along with most of the other people in the neighborhood. Actually your neighbors sound pretty fun. Unless they were sitting outside your front door then I could see that being weird. However, what is creepy is you driving around the middle of the night thinking about sleepy in a gas station parking lot or getting a hotel by yourself. That could be very dangerous and I don’t think your parents would like that at all!
Talk with your family and let them know you’re not quite ready to be alone.
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I would work on acclimating to being home alone because you’ll have to be alone sooner or later. Lights on, tv on, take meds, put on music, fan on, make yourself comfortable, shower, order a pizza, talk to people online. Home is more comfortable than a cheap hotel room.
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Being on your own home alone gets easier as you get older. Still miss my mums roast dinners tho on a sunday. But im 44 now - and fiercely protective of my man cave/flat now - and dont like visitors.
I"m not young. I’ve lived alone before. In other states in face where i knew no one. I was in the military for 6 years. i have hallucinations they scare me i don’t like to be alone because of them.
our neighbors are creeps. enough said.
i know i need to get better at it. If i didn’t hallucinate i wouldn’t have a problem with it. I also don’t really have anyone to talk too. and that causes some issues too because i get anxiety because i feel so isolated.
if i didn’t hallucinate i wouldn’t have a problem as much. i struggle with being alone because of hallucinations mostly.