Finally saw a ‘doctor’ at the horrible low-cost mental health place and all it was was another frikin evaluation?
I ALREADY ANSWERED THE SAME QUESTIONS FROM THE DAMN CASE WORKER.
WHATS DRIVING ME MAD IS:
WHY ARE SO MANY CHOOSING TO AVOID EMOTIONAL ISSUES AND CHOOSING TO BE SO DAMN ROBOTIC AND THEN ACTING AS IF THEY CANT UNDERSTAND WHY SO MUCH OF THE WORLD IS THE WAY IT IS?
NO ONE IS TELLING YOU TO GO ALONG WITH THIS SYSTEM BUT YOUR DAMN EGOS. BY NOT QUESTIONING THESE THINGS WITH HONESTY YOU ARE ENCOURAGING MORE UNNECCESSARY SUFFERING!
BEING DISREGARDED FOR MY PAINFULLY ACCURATE PERCEPTION OF THINGS IS MADDENING BEYOND WORDS!
WHO WOULDN’T WANT TO LOSE IT IN THIS EMOTIONALLY AVOIDANT WORLD?
I FEEL LIKE EVERY OPTION IS CRAP BECAUSE IT GOES AGAINST CONSCIENCE TO CHOOSE THINGS THAT ARE ALL A LOSS!
THEN … PEOPLE ASK “WHY ARE PEOPLE CREATING VIOLENCE AND KILLING THEMSELVES?” AS IF THERE IS NO WAY OF KNOWING…
ITS BECAUSE YOU REFUSE TO BE HONEST! NEARLY EVERYONE IS DISHONEST TO SOME EXTENT! BUT BEING DISHONEST ABOUT NEGATIVE EMOTIONS IS MAKING IT HARDER TO CONNECT TO ANYONE GENUINELY OF AFFECTIONATELY/INTIMATELY AT ALL!
AND THE PAINFUL IGNORANCE OF PEOPLE TRYING TO COVER AND AVOID NEGATIVE EMOTIONS WITH POSITIVE BULLCRAP! YOU ARE NOT A BENEFACTOR TO ANYONE!
MORE SO ARE THOSE WHO WANT TO ‘PROTECT’ PEOPLE FROM ‘NEGATIVE’ THINGS BY FORCING THINGS THAT THEY DONT LIKE OUT OF THE PICTURE.
PEACE CANNOT BE KEPT BY FORCE! YOU ARE ALSO NOT CONTRIBUTING TO A HEALTHIER/HONEST/LOVING WORLD! YOU ARE ENCOURAGING MORE VIOLENCE AND SWEEPING OF THINGS UNDER THE RUG! UNTIL IT IS DISCOVERED AGAIN!
Hey. I dont really know what to say, just wanted to say i might understand some of your point, though not sure.
I was taught and forced to suppress negative emotions or thoughts. Starting to retrieve them was actually helpful, though it hurts. Not at the cost of also seeing good where things are genuinely good, but pretending all is great when things are horrible is harmful too.
Im sorry you had such a bad experience and they arent helpful.
I’m just in pain right now because I don’t feel like I’m going to get the support I want/need.
So it feels like I’m going to have to figure out all this crap by myself for myself.
I want to believe that the next date they’ll be more supportive and might understand why I’m in pain, but that feels like asking too much.
I really see so much of my family and so much of the world now as like ‘hurt children’ acting out from their pain that wasn’t resolved.
And I’m not really sure how to resolve or handle mine…
But it maddens me more that most of our system thinks that if they just give you some drug it will make you feel better when what’s causing the pain isn’t chemicals in your brain.
I mean, when they suggested I would basically be put back in my covertly abusive home, then somehow that’s going to do me any good?
Problem is most people think if you’ve got a roof over your head you’re being ‘supported’. Support should FEEL like support… not like getting a two-faced or backhanded wad of money. Whatever the word is …
There’s just a lot of immaturity in my family and my god it feels like I have to try excruciatingly hard not to cave in and yell at everyone to avoid the risk of being branded ‘crazy’ for responding to something that feels very accurate in my perception.
If I could get my own space and financial support/medical support… I can foresee myself actually getting bettter.
But if they send me back to this crowded, immature, negative, backstabbing family? Then, I don’t see how that’s going to work…
It’s putting me in a bad place to think of the negative outcomes right now…
I see it too, all the hurt people, including me, and nobody getting more help than a pill and a pat on the back. I genuinely hope they can think of something better. Covert abuse is very hard to deal with, so i wish you find a way to find a home where you feel safer.
Feel free to tell us if things go well, or not at all, or if we can do anything…though i cant think of anything better to offer than just listening right now.
Being lonely is a horrible feeling. If people you do see feel “fake”, that doesnt help feeling less lonely. Hope you find some connection here, though it is through internet.
I may be able to understand some of your concerns. Particularly the feeling of disconnection. But also how apparent prosperity and “positive attitude” are shallow.
I may also understand and partially share your view on warfare, but I could be mistaken.
Other concerns you mentioned are less clear to me.
I have no solution. Frankly I think expecting help is folly.