That’s kinda how I’m feeling. The past week I’ve been dealing with my brain telling me to commit suicide over and over like a broken record. It’s also calling me a psychopath over and over. I tend to laugh these things off because it cycles very rapidly. But nonetheless it’s still an annoyance. I am trying to change my life. But it’s very hard because it also tells me I’m evil. Which I find funny. Some people in this world really are evil and I know I am not one. I wonder if they think the same thing. I sometimes think it’s my dead relatives calling me home or an evil sprit or something that want my soul. Either way. I’m content here for the moment. I am going to Florida which should be the ■■■■. After that I am going to ECT therapy. Which I know nothing more about then the success rate and why it work. But I don’t know people who have done it. Furthermore, I’m just looking for support. Does this happen to y’all.
See you in the comments.
Thank you for your time.
I Have done ECT. It didn’t have any long term positive effects on me.
You must be southern. You said y’all
I had ect as well. A bottle of high spirits is more pleasant. Something you can do at home.
Nope. From the Philly area. But I have been to the midwest for a little. Kinda rubbed off on me quick. I pick up people’s behaviors quick.
Do you feel the ECT has impacted your brain in a negative way?
Youre a very strong person, im really glad to hear youre holding strong. Even though you would never hurt yourself, i think it would be prudent to get some kind of help now rather than later. Tell someone you trut in your life and see what their opinion is
I would like to know. If it don’t work with meds I’m checking out. It’s been real but this isn’t living.
Lol. I would love to. I’m pretty sure nobody out there is more thrilled to have a seizure than I. But I have to wait. There is a time for everything. And it’s not time for that quite yet.
I would have liked some more aftercare but i ve been dumped by the doctor’s. The problem persisted and i had to work through the suicideideation myself anyway. It was a waste of time and taxmoney.
True say, sound like you got stuff under control. Just take care of yourself whatever you do, even just the annoyingness of it, you deserve better than to have to listen to it. Try to keep busy at the least id say
I ain’t got ■■■■ to do. But I will say I thank you for your input.
If you want seizures then ECT is for you. 
No. I just don’t want to blow my face all over the wall with a shotgun. I get that one a lot. Or it’s slitting my own throat or jumping out of windows.
Xanax is pretty cool.
Even though I don’t got a prescription sadly.
When do you see your doctor next? 
What doctor:joy:
No meds for a minute. It’s been quite fun. I was on Seroquel and amphetamine and Ambien the last time. They took me off the Ambien and I just quit both the amphetamine and Seroquel cold turkey.
There is a first for everything I guess lol.