My mess of on adult life…alcohol dependancy and abuse
My failed marriage
Not coping at work
I know that sz can be blamed for a lot of this but still a lot is not our fault. My sister projects that men always blame women for their mistakes because they cannot handle it to be wrong.
In the past I have always apologised when I felt like I have wronged someone. Life has changed me so I do not apologise easily anymore.
If I live with sz with a certain level of insight I believe that I can think and reason as logically as anyone else out there. People who blame us for our wrongs of the past is stigmatising us.
It’s all in the genes. Black of yellow skin is a matter of genes. Having schizophrenia comes down to being genetically faulty.
Just like racism dominated the past centuries, discrimination and bias against mentally ill people is a fashion of today’s world. It will pass eventually. Hopefully I’ll live to see that day.
I was with my new psychiatrist the other day. I explained to him briefly my history of MI and meds changes. He told me that I speak with insight and I handle a normal conversation. I told him that people still stigmatise sz so he also said that it is slowly changing. I also hope to see stigma end in my lifetime.
A lot of my bad decisions I’ve made in my life were brought on by my illness, there is no doubt.
But I also am responsible in many ways too.
I can’t blame everything on Schizophrenia.
All of us are all people with human frailties and faults. Having schizophrenia doesn’t make us saints or the opposite. And I think it’s pretty impossible to separate the disease from our personality’s and character. They are too intertwined.
I can blame sza for a lot of things but I can’t blame it on the relationship problems I have with my parents and my in laws. at least not completely. my in laws don’t understand how much of my illness is to blame for my problems but they think sz and sza is just hallucinations and that’s it.
I once asked my nurse, (an R.N. case manager), why it was that I failed at literally everything I ever set out to do. My marriage, motherhood, my career’s, my relationship’s, etc… She told me it was because of my sza. Point blank. She should know. I guess sz/sza CAN be blamed for everything.
It would seem more productive to use all that energy looking to blame, could be better spent on looking for ways to turn our life into something positive.
The vast majority of my bad decisions were pre-MI so I can’t blame my shyt on MI for the most part. The psychosis and crazy behavior (dancing down the street) after I got dx are definitely the fault of my MI