Thanks Schizophrenia!
I can blame you for my bad decisions,
And take the credit for
The good ones.
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This one made me laugh a lot!
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Boss: Bob, I called you into my office to discuss an important matter. someone has told me about your work ethic. Bob, you’ve been deliberately ignoring co-workers-
Bob: uh- I’m schizophrenic. that’s why. I had put “schizophrenic” on my resume. it was that really small bold word at the bottom with the 4-point font…
Boss: oh really? (looks into his desk, takes out resume, and realizes the word “schizophrenic” on it.)
well, I thought that work ethic was quite professional actually. I was going to promote you. but since you’re schizophrenic… I really don’t know who you are anymore…
Bob: 
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LOLOLOL that is exactly what I do too 
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Interesting to have an excuse for our less than perfect behavior isn’t it?
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I don’t usually use schizophrenia for an excuse. I just add that “schizophrenia wasn’t helping…”
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