I have been on Strattera about two months or so now. I am pretty stable in my routine. I’ve lost interest in watching movies and tv with my mom as much. I spend more time alone, lost in my thoughts. I burst out crying in sad parts in movies, and feel happy in the happy moments. This medication has made me able to feel my emotions. I’m pretty sure I have Bipolar1 still or Schizoaffective since I do not have severe hallucinations or delusions. I’m actually less delusional and stuck since my emotions have returned more balanced.
But I am still working on being impulsive. I am becoming more withdrawn and I’m feeling less able to express what’s going on inside my head. I feel completely in control of myself, but I am doing stupid things online. Usually right after I take Strattera. My dose is at bedtime to prevent headaches, which means i’m staying up till 1am almost every night sometimes not sleeping. I’m smoking cigarettes more lately. I am afraid I will get depressed it’s almost fall. I’m panicking about starting my two classes in the fall and I’m afraid to change anything.
I honestly don’t know if this is my true self either. This is my manic self. Not my true self. But i love feeling emotions. I love being able to cry, or to laugh, and my family seems happier to see me happier. I don’t think other anti-depressants would work. I am not suicidal or anything. So that’s really good. I think I’m doing ok. So why am I trying to fix it? I guess I am uncomfortable with a pill being responsible for my happiness.
I have found it difficult to stop taking strattera. I don’t think I’ll survive without a replacement.