I didn’t when I started pushing myself to do stuff. The motivation and pleasure came later. It sucked at first but not quitting got me over the hump.
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Sorry youre having a tough time. My advice would be to take an antidepressant, they help me a lot, and stop me feeling too bad.
If it causes you high blood pressure then you could take a med for that, theres no side effects from them, and many people over the age of 40 are on them.
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@fingolfin i don’t know if my heavy smoking was interacting with sertraline/zoloft but i felt hot and dizzy for two days and my blood pressure was 155/93 so i was getting concerned. My blood pressure a week later is less but still high
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I was the sickest and weakest I had ever been when I was drinking on med’s. Mixing med’s with alcohol has got to be hard on your internal organs, especially your liver.
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Maybe try a different ad theres many of them, i tried a few before finding one that worked.
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My psychiatric nurse discussed ads and this was the only one shed let me try because its mildest one. The others she said have made me more suicidal or are just plain hard to stop and start easily
Im feeling a bit better , its 2am and were listening to Alice in chains unplugged. Have to just deal with shix every day, no rest for the wicked ug
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Yeah maybe talk to your doctor about meds. Drinking can’t lead to anything good. I can’t drink on perphenazine. I’m so stable on it but drinking throws that off so I’m gonna try to not hardly ever. Do you have a group in your area. I go to a program called day treatment at my clinic. It’s made life a lot better. There’s gotta be some kind of enjoyment you can find.
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@anon29983254 its not about not having stress or depression. We will always have that as part of life. We always have to fight it and deal with it in a non harmful way. Drinking is a temporary fix that doesn’t help you cope long term with stress and depression. There are other ways you can cope until the feelings pass. Maintaining a healthy mindset or mindfulness is crucial to dealing with stress.
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Ducky
Please care about yourself and try doing some small things in daily life.
My Sz was caused by alcohol too and I have gave it up.
There are some beautiful things out there in this world. there are beautiful flowers and stars in the sky at the night.
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Also, we should find something beautiful in our daily life.
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Even energy drinks pull me out of reality.
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It’s not bad if you only drink water everyday 
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I suggest Quitting drinking on the 1st of the month. Buying a treadmill focus on happiness inside and fitness inside and may all the luck in the world be in your corner
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I quit drinking for good a couple years ago now. I used to binge drink every 4 months or so. Then i switched to experimenting with cannabis drinks which was dumb and also not helpful. Now i just have a nice cold root beer 
Find something decent to replace the habit. I dont believe that the craving goes away but you can replace it with something else thats not detrimental to your health.
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Yes your right @sweetpotatocasserole and everyone else too
Stress and depression and schizophrenia are just life
The less crutches we have the better
Im easily addicted to things so im not going to let myself go down that rabbit hole!
Thanks everyone for your help 
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You can’t go wrong collecting vintage digital cameras. Just sayin’.
[ tries to nudge latest purchase into a place where the wife won’t see it ]
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Just relabel them “ai research chatgpt cameras” 
Keep in mind that I am just smart enough to get myself in trouble, but she is one of those people who is smart enough to get OTHER people in trouble. She knows what I’m up to before I know what I’m up to. Waving the white flag is usually the best option around here.
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My motto is do first appologize later 
#alwaysinthedoghouse
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Um. I may have purchased 13 digital cameras in 5 weeks, but it was for a good cause. Honest.
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