Is Childhood Spanking a form of Abuse? TW

When I was a child growing up in the sixties and seventies, as a form of punishment my father would make me pull down my underpants exposing my bare bum, make me bend over his knee, then repeatedly spank me with the flat of his hand. This occurred right up until around the age of 10. Do you see this as a form of abuse or just a sign of the times? It was very painful, leaving red marks and causing great humiliation and embarrassment. He never did this in front of my mother though.

Of course it’s an abuse. My father used to slap me in the face, but I was equally scared of his voice, when he shouted and was swearing really bad.

3 Likes

Slapping won’t fly in this day and age, where kids have child protective services on speed dial now.

I wonder what works well for punishment.

2 Likes

I think discipline is good, but abuse is something different

3 Likes

My parents threatened me with a wooden spoon but never beat me. Only got a spanking on the butt a few times.

I think parents don’t know how to relate with children. I think I’m too childish to ever have kids. But if I did, I’d understand my children a helluva lot better than most parents. Wow them with your wisdom and speak on the same level as to them. Understand they’re just as smart as you are just less experienced. Kids are impressive to me. I wasn’t so impressive as a kid because of my traumatic birth. But I still was very polite because my parents treated me well and taught me manners.

3 Likes

If it caused you harm and humiliation, I’d call it abuse.

I was spanked, and it didn’t teach me anything about consequences or how to correct my behaviour, just that mum was sick of my shite.

Rewarding good behaviour seems a more effective and confidence building way to get kids to behave.

2 Likes

My old man was bad for taking a leather belt to my bare bottom, leaving welts and bleeding. Even as a little kid I knew it was wrong. He was really a weak man, he grabbed me at 16 and i put him in his place, I never talked to him after I turned 18 and as for the whippings it never taught me anything other than to hate him.

4 Likes

I think taking your pants down was humiliating but spanking is okay with me. There isn’t enough of it these days. However I raised a son and never spanked him even once so it isn’t always necessary. You can get in trouble for it now.

Some kids are bad though. I got a lot of spankings when young in the 70s. My Dad used to hold me up by one arm and strike me and would have to wait until I stopped swinging to strike me again.

I made my son get in time out and my wife made him write essays. These are different times.

2 Likes

I think Scotland just made spanking illegal

3 Likes

Emotional abuse and state of terror and humiliation were way worse than a slap or two.
I still am not comfortable around my father.
I still remember his screams and loud voice, and bad words, and total absence of patience and kindness

3 Likes

I used to get my hair pulled and beaten cos I didn’t like my food.

1 Like

My parents never spanked me. They consider it abuse and so do I. I turned out fine lol

1 Like

Positive punishment is the least useful form of operant conditioning. Studies show a lot of negative results of corporal punishment, including performing worse at school.

I dont understand why hitting an adult is considered assault, but hitting a child, who is weaker and more vulnerable, is considered okay. Its mind boggling to me.

4 Likes

When my mother tried hitting me with a carpet rod. I hit her back. She didnt do it again. Mind you she was drinking then. Only time i can remember her being violent.

1 Like

idk what to think really, i don’t think anyone benefits from it but i was spanked sometimes as a kid, and both my parents were by their parents, and almost every person i know by their parents when they were kids.

1 Like

My father is/was the same @Om_Sadasiva, always a raging tyrant. I wet my bed until the age of 10 and only stopped through fear when he yelled and screamed at me. Another form of abuse inflicted by him was when he yelled at me to get the scissors from the kitchen drawer. He was holding our small fluffy little dog and demanded that I cut the corners of our dog’s ears off as it was required to register the dog . I was crying and screaming no for what seemed like forever when he suddenly broke into this evil laugh. He found it funny, I found it traumatising.

1 Like

That’s right. I know

1 Like

I only ever spanked Squirrelette once. She reached for a red hot burner, I pulled her hand away. She pitched a fit and tried to put her hand on it again. Four or five smacks on the bottom later that was settled. Never was a need for it again. Mention “spanking” and give The Look… Whatever poor behaviour was happening generally self-corrected. It’s a tool parents should have, but it’s a “nuclear option”, shouldn’t be used indiscriminately.

3 Likes

I was occasionally spanked as a child.
Today it might be considered a form of abuse.
Times have changed.

2 Likes

Thankfully times have changed for the better.

3 Likes