well, they’re back and I feel awful with all of it. Why do I have to wrestle and ignore all these intrusive thoughts? It is wearing me down. Thoughts of sex and violence that I know aren’t my own mind thinking them…demon possession? I wonder…how else is my mind so bogged down with things that humiliate me?
I also have intrusive thoughts. The meds wont take them away, but I’m sure it’s not demonic possession. It’s just our minds, they have an illness. We’re assaulted by the things that scare us, that we condemn. We’re better than that, we know that. The thoughts are ours but aren’t at the same time. I know the feeling, you’re not alone.
Thank you @Minnii I just want my peace of mind back…you’re right…my intrusive thoughts are everything I don’t want to think about…but it has me tossing and turning at night while I try to go to sleep, and then hits me between the eyes when I wake up…I’m so tired of it…
They suck. Just remember they’re not you… It’s just the damn illness.
Maybe you could distract yourself by reading or watching tv. Maybe you’re spending too much time alone.
I used to say 'concentration is the art of distraction’
I would dwell on them and they would spin around and stuff or I would yell at them.
at least for me, I found that acknowledging them gives them power, so I try my best to ignore them and distract myself with something fun.
I also developed a habit of making lists of things to do, so I never have free time for my demons to bother me,
And first and Last at least for me, I try to be thankful for what I have and ask God for the strength to get me through.
I feel harassed by demons half the time.
My mind is a bit clearer right now, so my perspective when able to perceive more clearly is this:
Our own mind knows what we detest most, and so if our mind has an illness or disorder that causes it to churn out thoughts of what we detest most, then that is what happens.
We still detest those things, but our mind is obsessing about it.
I just got back from the pdoc and she put me on wellbutrin for depression. I didn’t want to up my AP due to chances of tardive associated with my med, so I am hoping the wellbutrin will take away my blues at least. thanks @Turnip you are a good friend.
I get thoughts of things that also humiliate me. I have a bad habit of swearing out loud at them. In fact I do this a lot. And real horrible, vile swear words and phrases. This is very out of character for me.
Swearing can be cathartic. Often the sounds are harder sounds, “k” “t” and the words are single-syllable so they come out like a cannon shot. BOOM. It makes sense to me that people swear when they get severely distressed.
Totally get what you mean with the ‘k’ and ‘t’ sounds! Catharsis is good I think.
I’ve been on Trazadone for a long time and I won’t stop that.
It was started to help nightmares as it helps sleep, then I thought if its an anti-depression, well that’s a good thing.
At times there can be real life stuff to deal with.
I hate to be trite but don’t let those turkeys get you down.