Welcome to the forums. Recognizing issues is the first step in correcting them, so good job there. I sense there may be a bit (or more than a bit) of magical thinking related to massage, but that is definitely something to talk to your treatment team about.
Stopping meds… VERY bad idea for most of us (99.9%). There are the rare ones who can function well without meds, but I am certainly not one of them. I’m also the highest functioning SZ my own psychiatrist has personally seen, but even he agrees I need my meds. My wife certainly does. The last time I went off them … did not make anyone happy (I’m not the sort who gets mean or abusive, but I make bad decisions based on delusions while thinking I am rational.) It is agreed that I’m never messing with meds again.
Glad to hear you’ve kept your family together despite challenges and that you are willing to take the necessary steps to correct the problems you are aware you contribute to the mix.
You can read a bit about me here if it is of interest:
Cheers.
Pixel.
(Long-term med-compliant SZ and volunteer moderator.)