Yesterday was a terrible day regarding PTSD symptoms. As I’m stable of sz and mood symptoms I found it very weird that I was having so many disturbing intrusive thoughts, then it hit me that it should be the PTSD so I started searching about it and I hit a kind of duh! moment, of course it was. I found a cool website, with a miriad of very helpful articles for those with PTSD:
At first, all this time since my hospitalization, I thought intrusive thoughts were connected to my psychosis and meds just didn’t do anything about them, (and there is a connection, but I think it’s deeper than that) I was kind of resigned to having them and tried to cope with them by dismissing them at once, without giving them much importance because well, they’re there but they’re not mine.
One thing that bothers me about the intrusive thoughts and psychosis dynamics is that is very easy to question where they come from, since they don’t feel like my own. Maybe subconscious fears, irrational animalistic residues, I don’t know. But I don’t think they’re from demons, spirits or whatever so please don’t reply with those notions, such things do not exist for me.
Anyway, I’ve been thinking a lot about it, identified my triggers, realized that I become very avoidant to try not to get triggered by others, I get triggered just by walking down the street sometimes, or listening to a certain song, or just talking about some subject that reminds me of something.
I know this will get better with time, and I intend to give it a lot more thought and concern from now on in therapy, since I’ve been so worried about psychosis and moods that I overlooked this so important issue.
I intend on developing coping mechanisms and techniques to deal with this, since I feel really nude and vulnerable with PTSD.
Sorry for the long post, thank you if you read this far.
Have a good day!