Why is it that after october I always start having these horrible nightmares? I ask too many questions. I have no one to talk to who would even talk to me. No one cares who I am or what I think anymore. Im trying to stay well, but I fear the worst. Im mentally preparing for more psychological attacks on my life, its always been happening, ever since my mom went against the FBI for 911 and had her resistance with protestors and the family became a target. She told me the FBI when interrogating her threatened to destroy her and everyone she loved if she told a secret. I dont know what the secret was, I always assumed it was about 911 but I dont really know what the secret was.
I wish I could make these nightmares stop. I try everything but Im not joining the dark side…the world is a falllen place.
I wish it wasnt true. But its fact that she was arrested and interrogated by the FBI my dad has confirmed this. It happened before they were married, she spent a night in jail. She said it was when she was pregnant with me/but those details are shady.
My dad was with her at the protest. She was protesting the Duquesne physics lab where my uncle worked as a psychologist, my Grandpa was drafted during the Cold war and was a nuclear weapons researcher. The protest was against the nuclear weapons research program. My grandpa worked in the lab. My dad was there.
Probably not good to dwell on the past, but it creeps up sometimes and bothers me all the things I cant explain–missing pieces–things I wish I knew.
Thanks for the comment. Dwelling on things that happened that dont make sense…it can throw people off…Im really trying not to be negative, but Im unable to shut my mind down at the moment. I didnt make any of the stuff up, its just that I know that Im making patterns out of things, so I dont have to draw the conclusion. She probably said that in a delusional state. She probably went to the protest and was arrested for trespassing…she was always peaceful she was a part of the catholic worker movement? volunteer work and peace activist.
If so, I can share that since my early 20s whenever I get relatively stressed out, even if I’m maintaining a good routine, I get nightmares. I have them every night during certain periods, and end up waking like 1-5 times each evening.
The only thing that helps is somehow calming down, which I guess it’s easier said than done. Once I realize it’s happening, I’m able to go back to sleep even if I have hear or see anything while waking up/falling asleep.
Im afraid of talking about it or even thinking about it. It happens after I listen to Gothic music, watch dark movies. My mind just imagines too easily.
I dont understand how caffeine triggers psychosis. I slept last night, but was woken up by disturbing dreams. I have been taking the pills every night. Sometimes I risk taking it twice but I always take the pills. I’ve been unsettled since the one I had, it wasnt even a nightmare–just the way I was seeing other people’s lives it was unsettling how i felt.
Its been twice now I had a dream related to another life or situation. The first one the dream ended with a romantic lovemaking in a futuristic world, then last night it ended up with me witnessing two marriages between a man and a woman they appeared happy but were never truly happy, even though they had everything…
I’m as far from superstitious as you can get, but I’ve had some periods where just thinking of anything related occultism scared the ■■■■out of me. I’m not sure why, but that was one of the first odd things that happened to me, I think I was 14 when it first happened.
I once thought I had gotten myself scared for like a week because I saw so many youtube videos about those things, and when I came back to check my browser history I realized I saw like 4 videos and got way too frightened for days lol
See like I was never once even told he was a psychiatrist. why is that? why did my mom complain they used ECT to torture her? Why was she “running away” who were the “bad people” who were blackmailing her and I found this note that said “the money is in the hall” and I dont know where the note came from but I dug through all the stuff in boxes in the closet and found out a lot.
Yes I have a secret fear that Im the bloodline of Mary. I found a paper related a the cult or “Priory of Sion” and my mom said it was just a weird group that invited them for dinner once and they never stayed or joined it.
The first time I started sleeping during the days to stay vigilant during the nights was due to a nightmare. I saw myself sleeping from a corner of the room and forcefully threw whoever’s body I had in the dream against mine, only to wake up when it was really close. I kept dreaming of it if I tried sleeping in normal hours and not being tired enough.
oh thats weird. See I’ve been having pretty good dreams up until last night. I think its due to the overall energy and tension and people’s attitudes I sense around me.
I used to love conspiracy theories and being on fact finding missions. Now its dangerous to question anything and people come after you if you dont silence yourself, which was what the dream was telling me…in the end…sort of…just these people who kept moving houses, and rushing all around, hiding, moving, falling in love—
and then this guy who seems to be watching them the whole time and me are linked like the watchers are also the watched.
When I was failing college I had this idea about learning computer stuff on my own and becoming very good at it. Of course in my mind I needed to do that because I was being hacked and such, not sure if I even believed it.
Many years later I read some woman recounting that in her psychosis she thought she was related to someone famous and after lots of therapy came to realize it was probably a way her brain came up with to sort of boost her self esteem (she had a more elaborate explanation l, but it was something to that effect) and it clicked for me that’s exactly what I was doing with that computer stuff
That sounds like a way more symbolic dream than mine lol. It probably can give you good insight into what might br bothering you. I’m kinda mad that my brain was too lazy to come up with a plot to represent my fears, I’m pretty sure that’s when I started having more significative symptoms for the first time, wish I could’ve done something about it then