After writing the Intermezzo, I decided that it is time for me to sleep.
I am scared beyond belief right now. I just feel like someone will kill me. I feel like people are spying on me. I want to drown myself out…I want to dig my skin out and cut my skin open. I feel absolutely nothing. I just want to stay alive but I feel so much pain. So much pain…
I am so scared. I just want to bang my head on the wall…
Hang in there things will get better and you’ll be safe nothing bad is going to hsppen. Find something to distract your thoughts.
@laetitia how are you feeling now?
I know how you feel. I want punch myself out. It’s like bad is better than feeling nothing at all. Sometimes we ask for abuse because we feel ourselves fading and that is scary.
Nobody is going to kill you and nobody is spying on you.
It sounds like a bout of paranoia.
I hope you’re doing ok now.
I always felt that everyone knows my thoughts when my side effects hit me, it’s always a struggle for me. even though logically that’s never true, but my feelings were strong. Normally I would suggest you take your medications to let your emotions calm down first, then plan what to do, please do not do anything foolish for now, it will eventually pass, you and I knows it. Pull through this to see a new tomorrow, sometimes it may sadden you more, but there is also the possibility that springs our new joy from tomorrow, who knows ^^. You can do it ^^!
you are stronger than you think you are ^^, live through to tomorrow, and tomorrow will prove that it’s correct.
@anon1517417 I’m doing much better. Usually during the day I feel less scared. At nights, PTSD hits me in the face.
Thank you everyone for your support. I’ll try my best to survive.
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