I'm in trouble

My paranoia has been horrendous the last two days. I’ve had everything from kidnoise from next door translating as someone trying to break down my front door with an axe, to my lunchtime turkey being poisoned because it had more black pepper on it than usual. My cat making snorting sounds in his sleep meant he was suffocating to death. The guy across the street on the motorcycle was going to ride right through my downstairs window.

Last night I hallucinated a television on at low volume. It was 4 a.m. and no one had a TV on, it was me.

Last week I was posting here and got the bright idea that maybe I don’t need Klonopin, I just need an extra 5 mg of Haldol around 2 p.m. to prevent the symptoms from creeping back in during the late afternoon/early evening before I take my nighttime meds. So I decided to experiment.

I started taking 5 mg of my 30 mg of Haldol at 2 p.m., leaving 25 mg to be taken at bedtime. It lasted five days before I couldn’t stand it anymore. I don’t know what possessed me. When my pdoc tried lowering me to 20 mg, I had psychotic episodes twice on 25 mg. I am so mad at myself.

In the meantime, I’m in trouble. I’ve been reading here like always but been quiet because my voices are telling me I don’t deserve any support. I’ve had enough and am posting anyway…hopefully my Haldol levels go back to normal soon. This is yet another proof that I need that 30 mg…

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Haldol is quick acting. I’m sure things will be back to normal soon. Sorry you’re going through this.

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Thank you, I hope so! I don’t know when I’ll ever learn that monkeying around with my meds on my own always - ALWAYS - gets me in trouble…

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Still struggling today. Managed to go out with my husband to get lunch, a haircut, and groceries, but took Klonopin to be able to do it.

I’m contemplating talking to my pdoc about a beta blocker to help with anxiety. Anyone have advice about that?

@Shmookitty, I take 10 mg of the beta blocker Inderal once a week an hour before my piano lesson to help with performance anxiety. It really works. I’ve heard that it doesn’t really help with generalized anxiety. But, I could be wrong.

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Something to ask the pdoc anyway. I’m tired of always being so paranoid and anxious! Thanks gina.

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