My paranoia has been horrendous the last two days. I’ve had everything from kidnoise from next door translating as someone trying to break down my front door with an axe, to my lunchtime turkey being poisoned because it had more black pepper on it than usual. My cat making snorting sounds in his sleep meant he was suffocating to death. The guy across the street on the motorcycle was going to ride right through my downstairs window.
Last night I hallucinated a television on at low volume. It was 4 a.m. and no one had a TV on, it was me.
Last week I was posting here and got the bright idea that maybe I don’t need Klonopin, I just need an extra 5 mg of Haldol around 2 p.m. to prevent the symptoms from creeping back in during the late afternoon/early evening before I take my nighttime meds. So I decided to experiment.
I started taking 5 mg of my 30 mg of Haldol at 2 p.m., leaving 25 mg to be taken at bedtime. It lasted five days before I couldn’t stand it anymore. I don’t know what possessed me. When my pdoc tried lowering me to 20 mg, I had psychotic episodes twice on 25 mg. I am so mad at myself.
In the meantime, I’m in trouble. I’ve been reading here like always but been quiet because my voices are telling me I don’t deserve any support. I’ve had enough and am posting anyway…hopefully my Haldol levels go back to normal soon. This is yet another proof that I need that 30 mg…