Bella is so adorable! 
Glad you’re still with us 
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Could you get away from the apartment for a few days? Go on a little stress free relaxation trip or something. Sorry to go all Buddhist, but my favorite Zen writer says if you can’t manage to conquer the source of your fear and anger the best thing to do is separate yourself from it for al little while. That way you can at least regroup and have a couple days you don’t have to worry about it.
I mean even a stay in a decent clinic might be helpful.
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Everything will be fine, we are all here for you @roxanna
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I’m planning to go get out for a while tomorrow.
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Good. I really hope things get better. People can be horrible and awful. It can be even worse for people like us who are more sensitive to their negativity. But you are better than them. Don’t let their nasty nature hurt you. Because you are nice and you deserve to have a good, peaceful life.
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How are you @roxanna? Bella needs you. Don’t take yourself away from her. Hang tough. You’ll make it.
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My dad called me a name under his breath
What if you made a deal with yourself to no longer even consider the bridge as an option? Take away that go nowhere option and instead when times get tough bring out all your positive coping skills. like petting and feeding bella, crocheting, listening to headphones, bubble baths, positive affirmations, prn’s, naps. etc maybe a different pattern would help?
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Yes I will forget the bridge. My mom would fall apart if I died.im not going to kill myself I promise. Thank you finally.
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I know how you feel. Life’s hard enough without this illness. We are champions for surviving it. There are highs and lows. Hang in there.
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I think my father called me a bitch under his breath at me. That’s what I didn’t say earlier. I may not talk to him for a while.
I’m positive you imagined this…your father wouldn’t call you a bitch under his breath…when are you going to start recognizing all this as delusion? are you sure you are on meds? @roxanna
Yes I’m on haldol, Lexapro, benztropine, hydroxyzine,and trazodone. I heard it come out of his mouth. Delusional may be.
why don’t you just ask your dad if he called you a bitch then? I’m sure he would be surprised to hear you thought that.
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I’m just really glad you didn’t go to the bridge. I really care about you roxanna
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I did ask him he said he didn’t say nothing.
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that’s odd…maybe he thinks you are delusional and didn’t want to argue with you…I bet he didn’t say it…as a matter of fact I am sure he didn’t…you are always thinking someone called you names…it’s getting old to fight about it.
What do I do if people are calling me names? Or I thought
Why are you chewing me up?
I know I’m delusional. I’m schizoaffective.