Schizophrenia.com

I'm a loser and I hate myself

I’m never going to be able to lose weight. I’m going to be fat forever until I die from a heart attack or stroke probably at an early age. I’m an emotional eater. I eat my happy. I eat my sad. I eat my angry. I eat my not good enough. And I’m always not good enough. It’s a viscous cycle. The antipsychotics give me one hell of an appetite but I already had a problem even before antipsychotics. The antipsychotics are a great excuse. I don’t want to die. I didn’t want to die of lung cancer and I quit smoking. Do you know how hard that was? Why is this so much harder? Why? I just can’t seem to get my head in the game. One more trip to McDonalds. Fck this sit. I’m going to die if I don’t lose weight. Why can’t I just do it? Why? Why do I keep eating? I hate food? It’s so tasty. Why does it have to be so tasty? I just want to eat fruits and veggies and whole grains and a little dairy and leave it at that. I like eating that way. I hate the other stuff, it’s disgusting. Just like me. I’m disgusting. That’s probably why I eat it. That’s what I deserve. I deserve to die of a heart attack at 53. I don’t deserve to see my grandbabies grow up. I’m just a disgusting piece of crap that deserves to die. I will be fat forever and that’s just all there is to it. I don’t even care. I hope I do die.

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I don’t want you to die. And your family loves you and doesn’t want you to either. You’re such a kind-hearted person. I do understand about weight. I put on 130 lbs. in the past year and a half, with 90 lbs. of it being since January. I look in the mirror, and I cringe. But I do my best to look my best if I’m going out. I may feel self-conscious and hate myself for the eating and hunger, but I can at least do the best I can with what I’ve got. Please don’t feel bad about yourself. You are loved, which is a wonderful thing, and this illness really can kick some butt. It doesn’t make you a lousy person- it just makes you human.

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I think you’re remarkably strong for putting up with all that you do. You can lose the weight. You said you’re in a program that will help you do so. You’re going to be okay. :slight_smile:

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Don’t beat up on yourself like that. You are a great person who deserves to be happy. People depend on you to take care of them. You deserve a lot of credit just for that. Don’t envy other people’s happiness. They’re not as happy as you think. I’ve come across people who seemed perfectly serene, and then I found out about all the crazy ■■■■ they have done. To me, a loser is someone who takes advantage of other people, someone who doesn’t hesitate to hurt people to get their way. That’s a real loser. You’re an outstanding person.

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Both of my cousins who are brother and sister had their stomachs stapled. They had to go to Mexico to afford it but they never been happier. Of course, they aren’t burdened by sza or other things as it’s in their genes. They tried dieting, hypnosis, scams, and the like with no success. Basically they spent 80% of their lives with hurting ankles and various limitations. My point to my story is that they had to wait a long time for a solution but eventually a door opened for them and I think one will open for you. Don’t let a blurry fate make you hate. You’ll make it somehow.

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Give yourself a break. You’re friendly, nice, funny and smart. Don’t put yourself down. Dieting is hard for most people but it’s not impossible to lose weight. My weight goes up and down. Right now it’s up and at age 58, believe me, I understand your fears. My dad had two heart attacks when he was just a little older than I am now.

That’s very sobering but it’s also good motivation for me to try harder to lose weight. I just lost 10 lbs. which is encouraging. If you just do one simple thing like quitting sugar or drastically cutting back on it, that would really make a difference. If you cut out fast food and junk food that would really jumpstart your weight loss. (and save you money. Fast food restaurants don’t even pretend that they’re fast or cheap anymore.)

And as a last resort, I read articles that say you can be overweight and healthy. So if you can absolutely, not lose weight, you can still eat a little healthy and do other things to improve your health and lower your chances of a (god forbid) heart attack. I’m not saying give up on dieting but a contingency plan would be to accept your weight and concentrate all your efforts on getting healthier.

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I was overweight too before. But ate regular portioned meals and more salads.Also counting calories helped. I tried to eat 1800 calories a day.

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weight gain won’t kill you I’ve seen millions of obese people live and get to tell the tales of loosing weight and surviving for the moment that crisis. Please try and keep working towards weight loss. Oh and we are here for you if you need us. :grin::grin::grin:

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Mcdonald’s food has very little taste IMHO. I stopped eating at McDonald’s because the quality and taste of the food just isn’t worth the calories. Now Wendy’s or Roy Roger’s is a different story.

I eat for comfort a lot too, and I’m a little chubby. All I can tell you is when I hit 30 it became almost impossible to lose weight.

It’s so hard to eat healthier for me because I feel entitled to delicious food on account of how much I suffer. I hope things work out for you. I personally tried to reduce my portion size and eat slower, at the suggestion of a nutritionist at the vocational program I was in earlier this year. She said I was eating way too fast. Seems to help. I get the Junior burgers or kids meals sometimes if I do fast food.

You’re definitely not a loser!

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:broken_heart::broken_heart::broken_heart: You are so important and so loved and so kind to everyone. I look up to you. Sometimes we just gotta keep chugging along to find that better place. Sending you millions of Hugs. ((((Hugs))))

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You are a good person @leaf. Dont get down. Weightloss is a lot of work I struggle with it sometimes. I am an emotional eater I also eat when I’m bored. I try to find something to do when i feel the urge to eat. Usually listen to music that makes me want to get up and do something.

A treat at McDonald’s every now and then is no big deal maybe set a treat day for yourself

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It takes a lot of perseverance which I think you have, to lose weight on aps. Lots of hurdles a long the way is totally normal and understand able. But I’m with you on this one we CAN do it, it just takes time. (hopefully)

Hugs

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Losing weight takes time. It’s alright to get frustrated, but don’t turn the blame on yourself.
Lots of factors play in, and it shouldn’t have to be hard.

You’re a wonderful person with a lot of good qualities. And being a bit overweight doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll have a heart attack or any of the other comorbidities.

You are warm, loving, funny, caring, and I’m sure those who love you would rather see you chubby and happy than slim and miserable.

You said you eat your feelings. Is that something you can discuss with a therapist?

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Congratulations on quitting smoking. That is difficult to do. I’ve had the same problem with binging and there are no easy answers. The wake up call for me was getting a diabetes diagnosis. I hope that you can do the same. One suggestion at McDonald’s is to get the salads. They are pretty good really. Other ideas are sugar free candy and sodas. I know you are in a lot of pain but your grandbabies deserve to meet you. Don’t give up.

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You heard of overeater anonymous?

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I find keeping healthy eating habits harder than quitting smoking.

When I quit smoking I used the nicotine lozenge. And I became addicted to those for four and a half years, lol.

There’s nothing like this for eating.

I also had a weight problem before starting g antipsychotics. I gained 50# on the meds, I was up to 300#. Now I’m down to 230-ish. I Still have problems with food. Like yesterday I probably ate 4,000 calories. On a usual day I try to keep it around 2,900 cal.

I’m really in Pretty good shape despite being obese. I feel good, look OK…

I credit all of this to VIGOROUS EXERCISE EVERY DAY!!! You have to go to the gym and Fall in love with somethibg there. Ellipticals/treadmills/weight training/whatever it is…

Or if you have no gym accessible I find kettlebells to be the best full body workout.

I do 20 min a day intense eliptical and that keeps weight off, but more importantly it keeps me HAPPY!

This is kind of one of those things where ‘if I can do it you can do it.’ And you can do it, you just have to REALLY want it.

GL

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I just wanted to let you know I’m feeling better today. I was just upset because I ate McDonalds and it was 1000 calories and it threw me over for calories for the day. And it made me not feel well too. But thank you for your kind words and your advice. @Happy_H @antidepressant044 @crimby @ThePoeticSkunk @77nick77 @see121 @Illvoices @agent101g @FatMama @cbbrown

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I think you a great person Leaf !!

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I just wanted to let you know I’m feeling better today. I was just upset because I ate McDonalds and it was 1000 calories and it threw me over for calories for the day. And it made me not feel well too. But thank you for your kind words and your advice. @Butterflyy @Nova @Blizzard @Dunno2 @mikev0882 @Wallafish

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This may be late, but I found that during weight loss I found it was natural for me to have periods of weakness and extreme hunger. I simply ate, and felt better afterwards.

I have some weight to lose myself,again.

I remember and appreciate your kindness from before.

If possible, I would suggest negotiating with your Psych doc if meds cause issues.

Here’s to success!

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