I'm a happy schizophrenic

Some studies say that 30 percent of people with schizophrenia ever get cured. Only 30 percent. The numbers are horrid, given how much pain this illness causes. I however, decided to be part of that percent as soon as I got diagnosed 10 years ago. I got on and off medication, I changed therapists, scenery, towns, countries, relationships, lifestyles, appearences, even tried to kill myself once in the process, when I felt I’d never figure it out and also hurt myself in so many ways to feel I’m still alive. But in the end, I had to admit that my pain is part of myself and I started to learn to handle it, overcome it, and get back on track.

Now it’s 10 years after my (at that time much too young) self got the notion of being sick with something beyond my understanding (also beyond science’s understanding, for the moment). I can’t say I won the bet; I’m not cured. However, I enjoy living along with a wonderful husband, I have a child that receives all my love, I’m starting a business and I’m turning into a great cook (blah, no, I’m not). I see the medications as just a good way to put a wall between me and my pain, to give my head some time to clear up when I feel bad so that I can ask for help if anyone can help me.

So I’m going to say something I would have hated to say even as recently as before the birth of my son; Take your meds. Trust your family and friend’s feedback on your behaviour. Talk openly with your psychiatrist about any erroneous thought or feeling you might have. Do something productive with your time, your illness must not stop you from achieving your full potential. Fight it, by all means. We may not necessarily be in the 30 percent, but at least at the end of the day we will call ourselves some darn happy schizophrenics.

Also, please let me know how it goes.




You’re post echos many things in my life as well. I’m stable, mostly happy. Not cured, but managing to make everyday just a little better then yesterday. I also don’t skip my meds on purpose, I am still sober, no illegal drugs any more, quitting smoking, going back to school, going to therapy, and keeping my family close.

I don’t have girl friend but my journey isn’t over.

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thats great! I am lucky to be in remission due to finally finding the right medication regiment. But I am happy to hear that you are settled down and happy regardless of having this condition. I didnt have the strength that you have- I thought that I would be a failure if i didnt get better. My GPA slipped and I became an alcoholic before I got on meds. All i cared about was surviving another day, I didnt think about the future. It’s inspiring to see someone live a full life even without being in remission.

Congratulations on finding your way through the difficult maze of strange symptoms to a relatively happy life. SZ is distressing but we can respond with our own inner strengths. Acceptance of the illness doesn’t mean giving up. Maintaining a family and starting a business takes a lot of imagination. It gives you something to look forward to each day.

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Hey, thank you so much for your posts, I really enjoy reading your replies.
@SurprisedJ You have a lot going on there, and taking after some other posts of yours you also seem to be a very caring and affectionate person, so surely at some point in the process you will find someone who will appreciate all of that. Don’t blame yourself if sometime you slip, you are taking a lot of responsibilities at once, which is a feat of courage. Good luck and let me know how it goes if possible, you are a very brave person to take down all those bad habits at once, I think. I for one will surely follow your posts to see how you’re doing.

@mortimermouse I was thought to be in remission a little while before the birth of my son, but it seems the pressure of having a future child uncovered new recources of the illness. I have a good cocktail of meds right now too, but I know it will take years before I get my brain re-wired correctly, if ever. I’m happy to hear you’re in remission after such an abrupt descent, in my opinion alcoholism is one of the most unnerving addictions possible, even if it’s because everybody drinks and the social pressure to get back to something that harms only you is huge. So congrats again on your rehabilitation, I hope your GPA is well now. Thumbs up for a winner! :smile:

@martinhersey I can’t agree more with you. So, what is your story? Of course, if you wish to share…


Your a mother, did you have to take medication for schizophrenia while you were pregnant?

I don’t know how you can be happy with this disease. I am beginning to have serious delusions which seem utterly real, yet I am still at the stage where I can still discern them as being delusions. I am not happy at all. I went into a massive psychosis after one episode when I started linking civilisations and cults from thousands of years ago together, and began linking objects together too, thinking there was some sort of meaning to it all. If I connect this with the increased creativity I have gained over the past two years, complete with tactile hallucinations, it is clear I am in the early stages of SZ. I am not happy about that, and I can’t understand how anyone can be happy about it.

Best wishes,

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the title is very positive,i love it :smile:


I’ve carried a diagnosis of sz and sza for over twenty-five years. My life has had its share of ups and downs. Right now my life has its better moments. I’m glad you’re happy.


That’s great! I went through a period of denial, but I’ve learned more about my strengths. This is a responsibility and burden not all share. I support you and your recovery.

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I had a hard time in college but I finally got through and got a low stress government job. I was dating ok finally but waited 10 years before marrying and having a child. I had forgotten about everything sz and used to laugh to myself about my ‘youthful indiscretions.’ Also I did not drink or use anything while I was pregnant.

But once our child was born, the stress of it and work got to me. Then I had relapses and was medically retired after 14 years in the government.

Zupa: Thank you for your message :smile:

Just gotta keep living man. Sz does suck if I focus on it it brings me down which makes things worse. Being happy as you can be is a powerful tool.

As far as civilizations and cults who knows what the real power structure is. Interesting stuff to look into, but it gets crazy pretty quickly. Just live on the surface. The individual grows ever less relevant to the progress of society.

I wish your post were not uttered with my very tongue.
I’m past that stage. It seems my…“entities” have mildy outgrown in depth delusions. At least like the bones I used to have.
I haven’t been on here in a while, I’ve been trying to get back to living life, but I caught myself yelling at a bathrobe for what “they” were doing to me… I Dont think I’ll last much longer like this…


I haven’t seen you for a while… I was hoping your were doing OK. I hope things are getting more manageable and your feeling better.

Good luck and I’m rooting for you. Hope the glitch was just that… quick and passing.

It’s nice to see you back

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I’m sorry, the emotional management team of the user your attempting to contact is busy at the moment. That being so, please, refrain from all attempts at delivering feel-good messages until a later time.
Thank You
-Snow’s Brain


@msredhedgal I didn’t take much medication during the first pregnancy, but unfortunately it ended with a psychosis. Now I’m having my second child and I’m on 10mg of Abilify plus bezodiazepines as needed. Now, that seems to be a big dose of antipsychotic, but I am quite tall, so…the dose is adjusted to my coporal mass. It’s very scary, but I hope my son will be ok. I’ve read someone’s post who said she called the manufacturer of Abilfy to inquire about safety during pregnancy and they said there is not enough data available, but out of 7 pregnancies, 6 were ok. That is a good percent, I’m guessing.

@Padster being happy does not mean I do not have bad days. You should see my home…it’s a mess, and I can’t build up the courage to tackle all that needs to be done. Also, my family decided I should spend less time with my son in order to sleep well, for fear I’d have a new relapse if I don’t - and that did hurt at the beginning, as I was thinking I was doing just fine with raising my son. Now we’re seeing each other every two days, and it’s a bit painful. WHat else? I am constantly reminded of my illness by my well-intended but tact-missing husband. Also, I know that one possible prospect in my future is to have a sponge-like brain at an older age and end up lonely and lacking lucidity. I have to take benzodiazepines ever so often, when I feel too much pain or I am being too delusional to be able to go on. My hands are trembling and my jaws clench, sometimes I find it hard to speak and be understood.I sometimes stutter, for no apparent reason. I can’t concentrate to learn as I did before I got sick, and my decision process has been also affected. People tend to avoid me and I tnd to be affected by that. I have persecution mania ideas that I don’t always recognize and that torture me before I can put an end to that train of thought. I live knowing that a new psychosis will make my close ones lose faith in me and that I’m not so sure I can control myself enough to not have that psychosis and be hospitalized. It took me one whole year after my last hospitalisation to gain my husband’s partial trust in me, so much as to talk with me, bring me flowers, stop telling me I risk losing him and make plans again for the future. Worst part is, I understand why he acted like that and when I don’t seeing my SZ sister-in law during crisis and realizing I acted the same gives me the cold shower I need. It’s a painful, insidious, horrifying disease, I will give you that.

However…I’m starting to tell my delusions from reality and act upon that understanding, so that the illogical ideas and beliefs don’t get acted out. I am actively learning fallacies and cognitive biases so I can avoid them in my own thinking and identify them in the thinking of those who are influential to me. I am conscious of the fact that, having a weak will at this point, I am being “brainwashed” by my healthy, able-minded husband, and I only dare to think what he allows me to. But I choose to be brainwashed into healthy thinking than ramble endlessly on subjects that have no connection to reality. I’m not happy-happy. I choose to be happy, I choose not to run, not to hide, not to fight the help I can get and not to make the connections that you are talking about. I choose down-to-earth jobs instead, down-to-earth pieces of information to learn, useful things to think about and discuss. It’s not a SZ-generated happiness, it’s a self0induced happiness that I choose to sustain, because why not do that if you can instead of living a life you cannot enjoy?

It’s hard to explain, Padster, and I’m sorry if I can’t tell you how to enjoy your life while being SZ. But what I can tell you is that I beg you to try doing it. Try enjoying life and allowing in your head only the thoughts that don’t disturb you. Does that make sense? Life should be bearable for us, but we tend to want it to be exquisite. Well, I guess most people , SZ or not, can only do bearable with their lives, even if we tend to idealize their lives and think they have it better than we ever will. It’s a matter of perspective. Again, I hope that makes sense. :smile:

Right on! YOLO! :smiley:

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