If your family is messed up is it best to get away or stay?


my sister is chronic delusional depressed alcoholic

mum has no choice but to stick by her

if this carries on it will not be good for my mental health - or my family’s

would you leave town?

i can go to a nearby town where my husband wants to go anyway. we live in a house and don’t want our own family

give both of them the option of coming round and holidaying for a couple of days even if they live in a 1 bed flat with no outside space together
but not live with the grind of every day taking too much from my mum (cleaning - food shopping - etc)
because it’s a habit? because i’m busy and do other stuff but am lazy and unmotivated and am just so effing blind to what is going on around me?

mum is healthy but a smoker. 73.

i don’t know how demanding i can be and how much i hope she doesn’t get dragged down by me

but i know she does have so much to worry about my sister can’t cope with anything (live independently)

(i guess i don’t know how to either)

maybe i can go and live my life now

we are best friends

she is everything to me

she will not show my sister tough love

1 Like

Does your husband live with you and your family? How does that work out? Are you interested in having your own family. The building blocks for that might be in finding your own place.


I live in a house with my husband

when he is at work i’m 90% with my mum

my sister has been trying to move out of my mum’s one bed apartment for 3 years, but goes back

she is alcoholic and usually having a breakdown

she is demanding in the extreme

i don’t want a family

i don’t know how demanding i am but with 90% of time spent i’m obvs not no stress at all

replied 15 15 i pressed the wrong reply button

Best to have family than no family, I left mine behind 42 years ago, they all hated me anyway and made no attempt to stay in touch, not that I had any desire to hang out with them, just shows there was no love in my family.

May not be the family you want, but best to stick it out if you can


Is it that you don’t want to be alone while your husband is at work? I understand about not doing well alone. It’s why I live in a group home. Maybe you could go to a day center.

1 Like

sorry the more i hear all this the more i feel like a ass but really my husband desperately wants to move away

i doubt i’ll see him retired (he’s 43) and I want to go and get him to retrain.

i moved away from my family before i think if they hadn’t followed i’d regret it

Yes i would need to chordy, i think that’s a great idea

1 Like

There was a lot of things that were toxic about my family. Living with them exacerbated my symptoms. Going off to college helped me a lot. Take care of yourself first, then your loved ones. If you’re not well you can’t be of help to anyone.

My family isn’t understanding and helpful, so in my case, it was best to leave. In fact, I was at my most “normal” while I was away from home in undergrad, where I wasn’t very stressed.