If you could change the past?

What would you do different? I would give up drugs and move to the big city where there was a homeless shelter and get guitar lessons. I was a runaway living with bad people in a small town and things went bad. I had a job, I could work then just fine. I spend all my time in regret. My voices caused me to be this way. My whole frame of mind is filled with thoughts that they gave me but I’m still me. I hope.

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I would not get hooked on illegal drugs.

If only we could change the past?

Things really suck when you can’t change them, but you can be the change in yourself in what you do from today

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I would not have gotten married the first two times (im on my 3rd marriage, 10 yrs strong). I wouldve never gotten into narcotics of any kind. I would have treated my mother better (we have a good relationship now thankfully). I wouldve accepted my diagnosis in the beginning and not faught it for a decade.

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I did the best i could and what was right for me at the time. God help me, i was only 19.

TW: sexual trauma / sexual abuse

I would not have gone on a cruise ship (family vacation) at the age of 15. Why? Well, that was the first time I was raped. First time of anything sexual, and it was horrible.

My self worth and view of myself just went to crap. I was raped a few other times, after the cruise ship. I feel like maybe I would’ve avoided the events after the cruise, if I had more self worth. Maybe I could’ve gotten out of the other situations.

I’ve mostly healed, at this point in time, but part of me will always struggle.

Sorry to be so dark. But this is truly what I wish I could change.

I’d have stayed with my ex boyfriend for longer and not try becoming a nun. I’d have perhaps stayed single. I don’t know. Our past shapes us so how I am means I had to experience what I did to be who I am now. But I do regret leaving my ex and getting all religious. I guess it still helped though.

My marriage I both regret and don’t regret. I regret it because I should have known the epilepsy my husband has would be a problem, and I don’t regret it because it was good getting to know the loving person he is.

How shall we change from now on should be our next question…

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I’m so sorry @Blossom. It’s not your fault

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Thank you, @ZmaGal.

I met my husband when I was 21 years old. He showed me that not all men are bad. He respects me and loves me. He’s a big reason I was able to heal most of my past trauma. He showed me how I deserve to be treated. :purple_heart:

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I’m so sorry Blossom to hear that. Sounds extremely traumatic but you’re a strong gal

@Blossom

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I would have done a lot of things differently.

I would have been a better sibling.

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Thank you, @LittleMissSlothy. :orange_heart:

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I’m so glad to hear that @Blossom

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I wouldn’t have done drugs at all. I think it is what triggered my symptoms and caused me to become detached from reality. Seems like a lot of us here went down that road…

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I befriended a few people in my life who really hurt me, I also got my GED instead of finishing up highschool …
I used too many drugs
I wanted so badly to get married and have a few sons
Spiritual warfare, or ‘war within’
I wish I was nicer to my siblings

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I would change all of my mistakes so the voices wouldn’t throw them in my face or head whatever lol

I should’ve been more assertive on several occasions. I was too nice. This is how I was brought up. Funny thing is, even my parents now think I am being too passive and tolerant when I should be more decisive. They are right.

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I would have chosen different parents :rofl:

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I would have not smoked marijuana everyday. Smoking everyday gave me psychosis and the schizophrenia diagnosis.

I would not have gone to that “place”, and a few years later, I would have consulted a shrink.

I think about that from time to time. I think, “If only I had known this. If only I had known that”. But sometimes I realize I was just destined to lead an angst ridden life.

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