If it wasn't for my father I would probably not survived in the first couple years of my disease

My dad passed away on my birthday 7 years ago. But looking back more than thirty years ago, I can’t believe what he did for me. When I first got ill and I thought everything was hopeless and I was suicidal he kept me going, he brought me back from the brink of suicide and the edge of insanity. Not just once, but many times. He wouldn’t let me give up on myself. He was a tough guy…but a nice guy. He was certainly no saint. He was an alcoholic who could get verbally mean and sarcastic when drinking but he never laid a hand on me, my sisters, or my mom. He was a functioning alcoholic with a high school education who kept us living comfortably in one of the nicer towns in the Bay Area, in the heart of Silicone Valley. My mom and my sisters played big parts in my recovery too. But when I was locked up for 8 months in the psychiatric hospital he visited me every day. Years later when I was living in a NICE Residential Treatment Home that my mom and him somehow got me into, he signed up for “family group”. My family and two other families meeting once a week in the evening for therapy. For a YEAR!! He missed a few sessions but he was there the majority of the time.To help me.
I can’t say enough about him. I miss him.

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Yeah that is touching @77nick77 - My father although not perfect was there for me during the rougher periods of my life.
Both my parents, my mother included, gave me shelter took me in to their home after I lost my house to divorce - that was a very dark destabilizing period of my life - they were there for me.
I lived in a very emotionally charged atmosphere growing up - but looking back, it was my parents who sacrificed a lot for me, especially when I needed help. I shall never forget this

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I’m so sorry he passed away on your birthday, that must be a very emotionally confusing day. My mom has been my saving grace. She has stood by my side for the past 17 years of my illness. Still when I relapse she is always there for me. She understands my hallucinations and delusions and when I can’t see reality, she always reminds me what is real. I don’t know where I would be without her. My name means the sun, and she always says the sun rose in her life the day I was born. But she is my moon. When things are dark she lights my way. :sunny:

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((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( hugs ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

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@77nick77 - I like the memories you tell of your Dad. I’m glad you had such a good person in your life. Dad’s don’t always get the appreciation they deserve.

My Mom is the dragon slayer. She’s very dynamic and action driven. If there was a doc who wasn’t doing right by me… Mom was on the case. If there was group home who was ambiguous about admitting me… Mom was ready for the fight.

My Dad is a very quiet and seemingly passive man. He talks softer then my Mom, he takes a step back sooner then my Mom and he moves on from an argument sooner then my Mom. He too has had his trials in life… He went through a period of almost loosing it all to alcohol. But he got help and got his life back in control.

For ages I didn’t quiet get that my Dad just had a very calm and easy going nature. While Mom was slaying the dragon of paperwork and SSI processes and disinterested docs… My Dad was there… hanging out… shooting the breeze… keeping me calm… giving me the thumbs up that it will get better.

I’m starting to appreciate how calm my Dad is.

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you have the memory of a kind father, that is a wonderful gift.
take care

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i’m concerned your mum is a dragon slayer !?!..i like dragons…lol
take care

@darksith

That made me smile :smiley: … she likes normal dragons. In fact she likes them so much some of her math students call her a dragon lady. :laughing:

It’s the paper dragons made of governmental red tape she’s hates.

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Yes, you are right darksith.

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My Dad is a great support too. He helped me a lot in my 20’s when I was unemployed and depressed. He didn’t judge me but stood loyally by me. He even helped me out with money as I had no income. My Dad knows about life himself as he’s been through a lot of ■■■■ himself. I think that’s what it takes is for your family to be supportive of you and not critical.

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My dad is a big supporter. He paid for years of education, boarding and catholic school, and helped me start finding jobs. He’s also supportive of my brother, but he’s made a lot of allowances for my mom and I due to our illness. I think he was able to help me more than my mom, but that’s because I listen to him and know that he’s rational. He’s a computer programmer, and has always been a very rational minded person. He’s never been neglectful of his children. My brother has had an internship in China and Pittsburgh, and other places. I’m more than happy that my brother becomes successful. We used to go to church too. I learned a lot from my dad. My parents taught me to read and write early on. They were always so invested in our future, that’s why it’s sad to see my mom not the same person she really is. I feel like I have to encourage her to remember who we are every day.

Same here. My mom loves me, but she has no understanding of my illness. My dad has had me living with him since my diagnosis at 14. i moved out at 18 and moved back in with him at 26. now he lives with me, so it all works out.

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