I would probably go to the hospital or crisis but

As you all know, I deal with HI quite frequently. I’d probably check myself in today if that would actually change things. I will still be living with the biggest trigger known to man. And they’d probably mess my meds up. I get more services outside then inside anyways. But the thoughts are loud today. I’m bordering rage but keeping it together. I see my case manager in a couple hours. Just want this all to stop. I feel like a terrible human for these thoughts. And they plague me living in this environment. It may be worse then when I was living with my abusive ex wife. And I was in and out of the hospital then so much my head was spinning. They just upped my AP to hopefully help these thoughts a couple weeks ago. So far nada. I’ve almost reached the max on geodon. Only 20mg more til I cap out. Anyways, advice to stay strong? I’m here for at least another few months.

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I’ve had a rather intensive stress marriage these last ten years and since my relapse ten years ago just before I met hubby , I’ve been in and out of hospital eight times. Stress does make sz/sza worse. Support from my husband does help but we do bicker a lot. I guess it’s about looking for the good things in a relationship or whatever is an issue in our lives

I hope you find some stability soon!

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You sound like you need a strong PRN, like haldol. You could take some when things get rough.

You’re a good person @Niko_Alyxandir .

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Thank you. I called my nurse line. See what they say. I used to be on haldol and that was rough for me. But maybe as a prn it’d be helpful.

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