I Was "The One"

Unusual Beliefs
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During my last psychotic break, I believed I was The Chosen One. I felt Christ had returned to Earth in the form of a $hit Joke Artist…myself.

I was at peace with all of this. Even at the Hospital I felt like I belonged with the sick, poor and mentally ill…because I was the Lord.

I drafted a speech for the United Nations. I thought I was going to give a ‘command performance’ to the entire world.

My opening notes read…

“Hello Ladies and Jellybeans! You may be the 3rd planet from the Sun, but you’re still number one in my heart!!”

I thought that opening would make 6 billion people roll over in laughter.

My question is…what would YOU say if you had the chance to address the 6 or 7 billion people of earth??

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Oh, I think I would be too shy to do that. Maybe I would say “Just don’t forget, we’re all in this together.”

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I was actually considering telling the old joke…

Q: What does The Starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common?

A: They both circle Uranus and get rid of Klingons.

(But I felt it would be too rude for the billions of children of the world. I wanted to keep my speech ‘family oriented’)

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lol that’s funny!

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Lol that’s great!

I don’t think it’s rude to children. O.o If anything they’d probably get a bigger kick out of it.

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I believed the whole world knew I was helping Christ return to earth and that my life was being televised to the nations. I walked out on my back porch one day and said, “I’m bigger than the Beatles!” the rest is in my book.

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7

I hear ya, Juke.

At the Hospital, I kept writing down corny jokes I made up. Then I’d give the slip of paper to strangers…thinking they’d broadcast my humour to the entire world.

It was my way of trying to communicate with the billions of people who were wondering how I was doing in the Psyche Ward.

I was really ‘zoned in’ with the comedy…feeling it was my duty to make everyone on Earth pee their pants laughing. To make the whole Planet laugh, dance and sing!

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8

My older brother showed up at the Hospital to visit me and said, “Jesus Christ! Would ya snap out of it!? Nobody knows who you are, and nobody cares!!”

I just thought he was out of the loop and didn’t believe him.

MAN I made a giant A$$ out of myself…but what a mind-blasting trip that was!

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9

i don’t think there is one joke in the whole world that everybody could laugh at but i could mime my joke like Charlie Chaplin or Laurel and Hardy,

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Really, cuz when my family says that to me, it settles my mind.

I wouldn’t know what to say to the world except maybe, I love my chocolate,
please keep picking the cocoa beans.

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11

I thought i was Satan . such a horrible feeling

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My question is…what would YOU say if you had the chance to address the 6 or 7 billion people of earth??

If you each give me $1 I’ll bring you good luck.

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i would say- bow down to the mighty… POTATO!!!

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