But I do not have money even if I save up with my partner, that money needs to be savings for if we live abroad and on top of that baby costs is perhaps mission impossible, perhaps not…,
There is another guy I kind of do not mind the idea of having his child but!!!, the issue is trust within the baby realm (will he kidnap the baby? etc.) and I do not want my baby to be doing certain things ideally such as things that may be high risk for him specifically…,
on the other side, I could come off my medication if I do not have a child. whether that would be successful though is questionable.
Does anyone want to contribute their opinion?
I would appreciate it, if so. and respect it, if not.
I have been thinking, I think i would consider 3 children. its not up to me alone. i personally would prefer the first child to be with someone else. and then the other 2 with my partner. a boy and a girl. that would be enough children. for me. Would I be suitable to be a mom?, going by what you guys know about me?
I don’t know if you really want a child or not but in case you do there is something you should strongly consider.
Babies don’t stay babies.
Why is that crucial? Because they grow up and they fight authority and they have minds of their own. They cause a lot of stress.
I’ve noticed you get very paranoid about and angry with the close people in your life. That could easily happen between you and your child as the child becomes more independent and on occasion obstinate.
They’re worth the stress they cause you, but is it worth it to cause the child the stress of your paranoia and anger?
I want to add that if you get your meds to a point where you’re less paranoid, and if you do some therapy to work on paranoia and anger towards those you love, it might be ok in the future. It’ll just take some work on your part.
I would second this. So far, all your focus has been on whether or not you want babies. But you don’t yet seem capable of extrapolating out and picturing the full grown people they will become. At this point in time, I would be very worried about you having a baby, because you are very inconsistent with your thoughts, boundaries, and goals. That would be incredibly damaging to a person who has to rely on you for their life. I think you could do it, but first you have to form a stable sense of identity and be able to form a clear picture of the reality that comes with raising children. Right now, it seems like what you actually want is a doll that can love you back.
It’s very hard with this illness. At the moment I’m paranoid my eldest is going to suffocate my youngest in his sleep cos they just started sleeping in the same room. I dare not even tell anyone cos they might think I’m a threat to my son which I’m not
Anyway it’s rewarding. But even “normal” people struggle to bring up kids. They push your buttons over and over.
Ive got a child who is coming towards the end of her teens, and one who is in his teens. Im glad I started young, and predominantly before I became unwell. Its a huge huge deal. It has some major ups and downs. I don’t regret a minute of it, as its all Ive known in my adult life; being a parent.
If you’re in a solid relationship, have shelter and secure finances, and are ready to dedicate the next 20 years to intimate care with lots of smiles and cries - it may be for you.
if I decide on this.