I dont want to give up on it but im not confident and i have severe sexual problems both due to medication side affects and masturbation problems. Tbh i sort of want to become a mother but i dont see it am happening due to my sexual problems and the fact that ill likely end up a single mother. What do i do? Should i just do it alone ? I have absolutely no drive
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I’d just put the plans “on pause,” and focus on stuff like self-help books, or therapy, so you can take the least amount of meds possible, and also focus on doing hobbies you enjoy. Eat better, exercise more. Do that for a few years, and see if you want to date after that. 
That’s what I’m doing. I want to cut back the AP by 5 mg, but I’ll need to purchase musicians ear filters to block out some sound, so I’m not irate again. It will take a while to save up. It helps to write down a “game plan.”
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This wording strikes me as odd.
You don’t “sort of” want to be a mother.
It’s not something you half ass or stay on the fence about.
Children deserve more.
If you’re not totally and completely committed to the idea,
You probably should avoid it.
Also,
My sister is considering having a baby on her own and it’s EXPENSIVE.
Like insane.
Takes lots of money and planning.
Don’t get me started on adoption.
It just seems from your entire post, you don’t actually want children.
I 100% do not want children but as a woman with normal woman hormones,
I get the very strong urge to get pregnant.
Is it possible that’s what’s going on?
Because that’s totally normal and has nothing to do with actually wanting a kid.
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It could be but i love looking at babys i think they are so cute and everyone keeps telling me ill regret it if i dont
What should i do with my time instead
Don’t listen to everyone, for sure.
They told me the same thing.
Now I’ll be 39 tomorrow, no kids, and happy.
I think the reason people are pushy about it is two part.
I’ll state again that this is my opinion.
One is, it’s nature.
Like actual evolution, something in our DNA that pushes us to reproduce.
I feel it all the time.
Not as bad as I did in my early-mid 30s,
But it’s still there.
Second, misery loves company.
Fact.
People want people to have children because they have children and feel it’s the normal thing to do.
Everybody has kids and can’t understand why you wouldn’t.
When I was considering having a child, something that hit me hard was the actions of my peers.
I’d go on social media and see their gorgeous families.
Little perfect humans going through life’s milestones.
It seems so right, you know?
No.
All those people would give their teeth for a week away from those kids.
I know a lot of people will deny this opinion of mine, but I’ve seen it with my own eyeballs, so it’s a real thing.
Kids are a super pain in the ass and a financial/emotional drain.
FOREVER.
Like until you die.
I’m sure it’s super rewarding and ■■■■,
But I’ll happily live my own life without having to cherish ten seconds away from my kids.
Ever read Post Secrets?
Sooooo many of those are women who love their children so much,
But very much regret having them.
It’s a very common feeling.
Anyway,
Do literally anything else instead.
I have two dogs that I treat like â– â– â– â– â– â– â– princess.
I do pretty much whatever I want everyday.
All day.
I have money to do the things I like and zero responsibilities.
It’s pretty great.
Another obnoxious thing people say is “who will take care of you when you’re old?”
Those people are wrongly assuming their kids want to take care of them.
They do reluctantly out of guilt.
No one wants to be a caretaker for a falling apart person.
Okay, maybe a very few,
But the majority?
No.
Save some of that money you’re not spending on kids and put it back for when you’re old and falling apart.
You can pay people to take care of you.
Depending on how much you can save,
That may be in a nice place with people actually pretending to care.
That’s probably more of an answer than you wanted, but that’s my thought process as someone that decided not to have children.
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I think you should have children if you want to because it’s good for the world. Higher population is better!
No one knows that for sure. Maybe you’ll regret it, maybe not. Back when I had friends, they’d keep asking, “When are you going to find someone and have kids?” I’d say, “I don’t know.” They’d say, “TRY ONLINE DATING!” or “Hurry up! Time is ticking.”
Once, I phoned a friend, and we got talking, and when I said I wasn’t dating anyone she asked, “Then why are you phoning me?” I was floored that some people actually think like that. Basically, I shouldn’t call unless I’m in a relationship. That’s the worst kind of single-shaming… 
Then guess what? These same women (including the person mentioned above) would tell me over the phone, while their kids were screaming in the background: “Oh my God! Don’t ever have kids!”
You should have heard how upset one of these friends became when I told her I was going to take singing lessons. She couldn’t even tell me why she was upset with me. I even told her I just wanted to do it for fun, that I didn’t have any grand ideas that it would led to anything. She said nothing. I don’t remember the rest of the conversation, but I guess singing lessons were beyond her ability to afford in time and money (she had a five-year-old and her husband didn’t make much). But, wow, anger!
From what I’ve read and seen, children will take all your spare time and then some. You will have next to no time to yourself. They add a ton of stress too, so if stress exasperates your SZ, you ain’t seen nothing until you have a baby. From my observation, a lot of women think it will be wonderful to stay home and raise a child—easy and enjoyable work—but it’s much more work than some full-time jobs.
I’m 49 and have no regrets that I didn’t have them. It would have destroyed my mind (and there’s a scary chance that the child would get SZ too). I’ve got many hobbies that I enjoy.
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Yeah you are true. I get my illness from my dads side and im not sure i want to have kids for that reason alone. Plus the job market isnt that great now imagine what it would be like when the kid grows up.
AI technology has rocked the boat, but things could be better. They don’t always get worse. If being a mother is your dream, you should still look into it. Or, working at a daycare could be rewarding too. Just throwing it in as another option.
The child will regret it if you do. You’re a piping hot mess. You need to be personally stable and have a stable source of income or you’re going to put an undeserving child through hell. Speaking as someone who experienced this. Either get it together or get off this train is my advice.
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You are right but i dont think ill ever be normal tbh. I feel too messed up.
Normal is boring. Aim for functional and stable.
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Do you think i dhould have children then?
I’d try to spend some time around them before deciding. Can you volunteer for anything?
I dont like younger kids older kids are great tho
I also think it might ease my depression as it might give me a sense of purpose. But at the same time im worried it will make my depression worse as id be constantly worried
I think you should see a therapist regularly and go by their guidance.
Doubt it. Kids add stress and that will make whatever problems you have worse. I am so lucky I was married to someone stable who was able to carry the ball during the times when I dropped it.
My husband and I wanted children badly. We had a home and I had the ability to be home with them as my husband sometimes traveled. Being a stay at home mother was something I wanted to be though. I was home and we still saved for retirement and college.
I think we had our ducks in a row. I’m not trying to tell you how to spend your time and money (I have no idea what your situation is - and I’m not asking), but I’m trying to point out we wanted to children badly (we did not waver), were very ready and in the position to care for children.
I think you should make your own decision. You know if it’s something you really want. All a child wants is a mother who loves them. But they are expensive, and your child will likely have their father’s personality, so if you want to get along, keep that in mind.
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