Schizophrenia.com

I want to do something fantastic


#1

when I read about huge success stories that have sz, such as elyn saks and more, I wish I too could do something fantastic.

anyone else?

judy


#2

i’ve always wanted to do something fantastic! unfortunately, right now, i don’t have the dedication. just writing every day would b a huge achievement for me i think…or getting one of my inventions out of my head and onto the shelf for people to buy. i’d like to b a published author someday. that would b wonderful i think. xxx


#3

When I was young I wanted to be a three time olympic gold medalist in freestyle wrestling. I had nowhere near enough talent. Now I want to be a writer. I’ve had some success, but I doubt if I’ll win the Nobel Prize.


#4

Maybe my sights are too low… but compared to how I used to be…

I’m alive, I’m not in jail and I can remember yesterday most of the time.

I can be there for someone else now and I can cheer other people up. I can support my sis and take some of the pressure off her… and make my young niece and nephew smile.

For me… That is fantastic.


#5

I did something fantastic today - I mustered up enough motivation to go and drive by myself to the local supermarket and did some shopping - for me this was fantastic! Small things forward count too


#6

All I want to do that is fantastic is to get my book about my struggles with mental illness published and share my story with others out there. But the bloody publishers aren’t getting back to me and its been over four months since I sent it to them. So I don’t know if I can do anything fantastic now. I feel fantastically impatient and irritated that they are not replying to me. And I feel fantastically bored with my life.


#7

saadiquah. I am sorry to read that you are bored. I wish I had some ideas for you.

judy


#8

i got inspired by her too i thought about setting up my own intervoice hearing coices group near where i live you dont have to do something BIG just something that makes you feel good tc


#9

What makes you think you aren’t fantastic already? :smile:

10-96


#10

When I want to feel like I’ve done something fantastic I look at paintings I’ve done. There’s a flower in my girlfriend’s room that I gave her that I go to look at when I’m feeling kind of down and it perks me right up. If you can draw or paint something it really captures that “moment” you touch the canvas with pencil, pen or paint…I painted a sunflower today in class and I can’t wait to see what the final product is…I gave my art instructor some resources to possibly sell her art. Made me feel good that I could possibly help her…she’s really struggling with her business but she doesn’t do art shows enough I tell her…she’s opening up to the possibility.


#11

I think I’ve done something fantastic if I inspire someone or help someone. I have my fantasies of pulling someone out of a burning car or something, saving someones life.


#12

At the moment my confidence is low, I am not sure if I can do something fantastic. I wished I could produce beautiful pictures for local fabric factory but I am now stuck at some point with my Photoshop training; I planed to write a book about Chinese culture yet I am not satisfied with my expression , thinking it’s boring…I’ve been thought about it for long but still lack confidence.


#13

I want to do something fantastic like write a book and make as much money as that J.K. Rolling or whatever her name was that did the Harry Potter series. Or have strong steady work like Stephen King (one of my favorite authors). I don’t want it to be fantastic simply because I have schizophrenia, but want it fantastic because it is fantastic work. I would love to write books that get turned into movies. I don’t know if I’d write the scripts or sell it off and get someone who knows what they’re doing to do that part.

But I have too many days like today where the voices in my head hold me back. I don’t know if it’s lack of motivation. I don’t know if it’s that I agree with the voices that I’m a horrible writer and I’'m wasting my time. I don’t know if it’s because I’m experiencing writers block. I don’t know if it’s because I’m just pushing myself too hard to get the ball rolling and if I’m not working on the story every waking moment then I’m not truly a writer…I don’t know the voices just have me down this evening.


#14

There is an effect dealing with pattern recognition called apophenia. Basically it is seeing patterns where they don’t exist. Heightened apophenia is both a hallmark of schizophrenia and creative people.

I’m trying to write a book myself. I doubt it’s any good but the thing is I don’t care. I’m writing a book because I love books. But the one thing I did notice is when I stopped trying to write for other people and just wrote for myself, the words flowed more easily.

Don’t listen to the voices telling you that you are a horrible writer. Every voice deserves to be heard. I’m never going to the win the Pulitzer. Even if I finish I’ll probably never even get published. But that doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t write. You have your own voice and it deserves to be heard. Also I bet you are tons better than you give yourself credit for.


#15

@ifeelblessed My friends tell me that living a normal life with SZ in Romania (where the support for people with mentall illnesses is close to none) is something fantastic already. ALso, having the friends to tell me that is also fantastic for me. I have a fantastic child, a home I can call my own and I’m learning new languages, webdesign and PHP. Like everyone else here, I wish I could become a published writer, but I haven’t found my voice yet. I write every odd day, though, just to make sure I can still do it.
@Futomimi I was wondering what apophenia means… I found the term in a book I was reading yesterday and didn’t get round to looking it up.

I’m very curious of what you people write. Ever considered making a literary cenacle around here? Maybe post some of our fragments, give ideas, make a group of SZ writers…I think it would be beneficial for all of us, even if we don’t yet think we would get published. Maybe the thing that needs to be changed in what we write will be noticed by our peers. Maybe we will learn to appreciate our own work. I think it would be a very good thing to do.


#16

I’d like to travel some…I’ve been stuck in 1 place too long with exception of leaving this city to work/school elsewhere.

Rest of the employment goals, I had to get real about. I have a lot of social symptoms here & my symptoms are too bad for any of the job situations I’ve found here…These folks will eat me alive or insomnia problems will get me fired. I can’t keep the sleep help long either. I need to keep the SSID check for now & hope things get better. I’m doing odd jobs while I look at the job ads twice weekly … I’m considering moving to another town. I attended a BIG church that wasn’t okay & I get harassed in public by these psychos a lot. I’m afraid to even try to work on that side of town with the way some of their church nuts have been acting toward me in public, calling me by name and bashing me in front of their coworkers - I only spoke up against bullying by adult parishioners (gang/cause stalking). I wasn’t tithing or attending enough Sundays due to fuel costs…


#17

@Zupa There is so much random stuff happening in the universe. But there are also a bunch of patterns. Humans have a natural tendency to find patterns in things. For instance (I think this explanation is from Cosmos) the change in the weather from season to season. Humans learned to correlate the placement of the stars and the change in season. They learned when the stars look a certain way it means winter is close. Because of this they learned to stock up on harvest able food for the winter.

Apophenia is finding these patterns where they don’t truly exist. When my schizophrenia kicked in, I used to think that I could ask a yes or no question and depending on if the wind blew against the top of my hand vs. the bottom that it was telling me whether it was true of false. That is apophenia.